Melanie Stone

Solutions Consultant, data, WIT, STEM. More dorky than pithy, occasionally sardonic, always irreverent. VP of the Nightcourt Should Be Streaming Consortium.

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@shadows_control #1 Remote work.

My kids couldn’t be hostages if I was home to protect them.

And?
Even on modest wages, once I didn’t have to worry about covering childcare, I could finally save for a deposit for a lawyer… and a new car after my ex stole my SUV, and all our liquid assets.

[Kelly @broadwaybabyto]

I urge Americans to fight for the ADA. Fight for people in DEIA programs to keep their jobs

We are not “less than”. We’ve been fighting for survival in a world that sees us as expendable.

Taking our employment is just another step towards making us disappear forever. /6

[Kelly @broadwaybabyto]

They’ve also frozen all civil rights cases at the Justice Department, which is responsible for handling ADA complaints. 

He explains that we’re moving to a “merit based” society… which is a fancy way of saying disabled and marginalized people not welcome. 
/5

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@ask_aubry Sounds like my wasband.

He knew he had depression and anxiety and REFUSED to seek any type of treatment or therapy… just made the family manage his environment for him.

It sucked for us.

Sadly? We’re all so much happier and have so much more fun without him around.

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@MegoRexx @MadelaineLucieH @Bobbadbig IL & MO, I’m a millennial & it definitely happened here.

Heck, professional events all over USA, even today, we get blamed if someone gropes or stalks us, & all the apologists are “do YOU really want to make this a thing? Some people might think it’s just a misunderstanding.”

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@KathWertheim @ask_aubry I’m sure he did.

Those of us with disabilities are multitudes more likely to end up targeted and trapped by an abuser.

[Shadows of Control @shadows_control]

One phrase that is very triggering to abuse survivors is, “I would never have put up with that.”

It makes them feel that they were weak for having endured it. It also implies they are partly to blame for ‘allowing’ themselves to be abused.

The fact is that unless they've walked in your shoes, faced what you have faced, had fear for their children, been threatened, blackmailed, controlled, put in a place of fear, been made dependent, they really can't say what they would have done in your position.

#DomesticAbuseAwareness #CoerciveControl

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@TheDHTaylor To clarify, this was the 90s. Lol I’m seeing a lot of comments from folks decades prior to that… just saying that it persisted.

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@TheDHTaylor Descendent of Irish immigrants here, we definitely did that growing up.

Bread bags from “the day old bakery” (Wonder Bread store for items about to go out of date.)

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@shadows_control That it doesn’t happen to successful people.

That it doesn’t happen to confident outgoing people.

And most importantly… that DV is something you can easily get protection for and custody for and legal aid for.

There is no justice. Only money and malice.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

A survivor often doesn’t know they’re oversharing because they’re so desperate to be understood. If you find that hard to believe, you wouldn’t believe the inner dialogue they carry and the ways people have treated them for not knowing how to handle getting hurt.

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@ErinAPN1 I spent 3 years on the edge of death due to medical misogyny.

A male with my symptoms would’ve been diagnosed within weeks.

My symptoms were not all treated either, even when a medical student insisted the doctor test me for (textbook) Myasthenia Gravis.

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@shadows_control Those good times are what your child will remember.

(When possible, I baked in “drama time” ahead of special events, so we’d have time to deal with him, any resulting cops, decompress ourselves, and get into the right headspace.)

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@shadows_control Took six years to get divorced and I lost absolutely everything (except my kids).

We’re doing great!

After renting for 5 years, we’re about to move into our own house again!

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@g_ymous @shadows_control I’m so sorry that happened to your kids.

My wasband did that kind of thing, too. (Either temper tantrums or pretending to be sick. After awhile, my oldest just stopped asking to have friends over.)

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@shadows_control I knew from the moment he attacked our child that I was getting out, no matter how hard he made it (and boy did he).

Manhandling me was one thing.
Our child?
Nope.

Merry f****** Christmas. / 🧵

[Melanie Stone @MelanieStoneMOD]

@shadows_control My sister said I could stop him.

I said I know, but I’m not willing to deal with the consequences.

(I was standing at the top of the stairs, ending in glass windows at the bottom.

It wouldn’t have ended well for me.)

🧵