The Melbourne Club

Melbourne's oldest gentlemen's club

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

The @Melbourne_Club is not #sexist. Once a year we let in women... to serve lunch #feminism

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

@hipstergeddon Daughters?! Surely you jest?

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

MEMBERS, apologies for the interrupted view. We're having our actual glass ceiling cleaned

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

We are now providing free heavy duty pain killers to excuse all members' white male gaffes. Thanks #EddieMcGuire!

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

FAQ. Who won the election?
A. You did, MEMBERS. We win no matter the result #ausvotes #AusPol #$$$

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Trying to get ahold of #StevePrice to offer him a free membership. If someone has his fax number, please forward it to us #QandaA

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Members, do we actually need a PM to execute our ultra-capitalist agenda? Is it time to emerge from the shadows & initiate Project Pluto?!

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

MEMEBERS, I've just realised we've been post-election partying without checking the result. It's not looking good for us... #ausvotes

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

MEMBERS, stick to the plan. Your school tie should determine your lot in life, not some fantasy about a 'fair go' https://t.co/3a2Fok193S

[Malcolm Turnbull @TurnbullMalcolm]

Two days to go!

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Bullshit.
"Why boarding schools produce bad leaders" via @guardian https://t.co/toe9rqGsr4

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Update - Robots went on killing a spree! Thankfully they only killed the strikers b4 short circuiting on water from strike breaker's hoses

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Strike Update - Robots malfunctioned and are going crazy! Car service suspended temporarily

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Strike Update - The strike breakers have fled! Strikers were armed with firmly worded pamphlets. Club is replacing valets with robots

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Valet strike update - They have formed a picket line blocking the secret, rose scented car park. Remain calm. Sending in strike breakers

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

BULLETIN: The Club valets have gone on strike over pay conditions, namely the fact we don't pay them. More to follow...

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

@_lizbarr damn auto-Corinthians

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Tonight's free seminar: Your Ill-Informed Underlings That You Deliberately Kept Ill-Informed Made an Ill-Informed Decision. Now What?

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

MEMBERS the election is Saturday. Remember, voting is compulsory and simply buying a candidate doesn't count #auspol #ausvotes

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

MEMBERS it's a cold one, so if you need, drape the help over your shoulders like a fur

[The Melbourne Club @Melbourne_Club]

Do not understand the desire to leave an exclusive club #Brexit #EUref