yo

narcissistic self-hating asshole, also an Aries. failed comedian. he/him. Cohost of the @thea2zshow

[Jess Margera @jessmargera]

I’m really thinking of calling the gwar dudes for a last minute gwar / cky DC show to make the presidents stupid bullshit freedom embarrassing shitfest look even more stupid. Maybe I’ll call clutch too 🤔

[最多情報局 @tyomateee]

意味わからなすぎてずっと面白いww

[TM06💿: I 💙 JRPGs @trsrpc]

How I'm about to pull up to the Data Centers like:

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

A good trick for coping with hot weather is to freeze a bottle of water and then use it to bludgeon people who get on your nerves.

[zuppy @zuppy_dog]

ska bands are like "fuck trump fuck ice free palestine" and then they start playing something that sounds like a remix of the club penguin pizza shop mini game and everyone starts dancing like snoopy

[Jack @GayLaVie]

IF YOU’RE IN LINE TO EAT THE PAINT CHIPS FLAKING OFF THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL REFLECTING POOL, STAY IN LINE

[yo @MelchKnowsBest]

Not even ashamed of it I’m old cry about it

[Ellis @JimmyGibbsJrFan]

guess who just graduated, me

[Punt Road @punt_rd]

Amphibians In Pain…AIC just works here!

[big content guy @bigcontentguy]

if i saw a robot kick a chinese kid in the balls in person i would need to be medically evacuated from laughter

[Marie 🏳️‍⚧️ @Ceaseless_boid]

A real ace combat fan will fuck the planes

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

cold beer on a friday night, pair of jeans that fit just right

[chaosjim @yungfloop]

consulting the elders (smoking cigarettes with the old dudes at the bar)

[gwen howerton @kissphoria]

having a qui gon jinn summer (gambling on sports, wearing robes, adopting orphans into my ancient religion)

[kenny 🌿 @frogkenny]

"kill them with kindness"

WRONG! GRACKLES 🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛

[Azur/Reker @warnoodle00]

Sometimes the big dog (me) needs a pup cup (25 beers)

[maro @ProofofMaro]

I’m a millennial so my retirement plan is societal collapse

[Rob B @RobBfromDerby]

“Open the Strait of Hormuz or I’m closing the Strait of Hormuz”

[wool hat @ghostxlovers]

songs used to have werewolves with chinese menus in their hands