Marshmellow

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Single bloke, lives alone. Just had the police come in my house to perform a welfare check under emergency exigent circumstances, as neighbours reported terrified screaming from my house. It was me. A spider dropped from the ceiling onto my head & I screamed like a little girl.

[2000s @PopCulture2000s]

20 years ago, troy bolton & gabriella montez met for the first time on new year’s eve

[🌸Ellie🌸 @ellie25577511]

Sharon at home watching jack expose the family one at a time #ImAceleb

[Bookaholic Bex @BexBookaholic]

An annual reminder that not everyone loves Christmas. Grief, trauma & loneliness can make it an isolating time. Please don't brand people as miserable/grinches - you never know what they're battling. If this is you, please know you're not alone. You're stronger than you think ❤️

[✧ 𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 ✧ @alexanderls3]

Claudia: “Faithful’s ask yourself this… who’s laughing to your face and stabbing you in the back?”

Alan:

#CelebrityTraitors

[rachel @verstappensx]

celebrity traitors is fucking killing me because not a single one of them suspects alan carr and every single night he’s giggling away next to them

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

Covid was a wasted opportunity. During lockdown the climate of earth drastically improved, outdated work practices were uprooted & people had time for their own lives. It's a shame none of that continued.

[Kyri Zindilis @KyriZindilis]

Tom Daley giving Kate Garraway gay side eye has killed me. #CelebrityTraitors

[yas @adoomies3]

This is genuinely one of the funniest things I‘ve seen all year I can’t stop laughing 😭😭This is gonna be a great season #CelebrityTraitors

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

It genuinely annoys me more then anything that I won't be able to attend my own funeral. I want to be there and see who turns up and how many people there are. I want to see who cries and hear any speeches made. I think about it all the time.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

The world has gone to shit and I cannot bear the news or serious programmes, despite that I'm in my late 40s and my children are teenagers, I've taken to watching Cbeebies. It's fun, bright and educational. I've learned a lot and also become less stressed. I recommend it.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Went on a business trip to Scotland a while ago. When I got there I called my wife from the hotel room to ask her if Orinj, our cat, was missing. She said yes & our daughter is looking for her. I said don't bother, here's here in Scotland with me. The dumbarse got into my bag.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I'm a 40 year old man who has recently realised whenever I see any friends it's because I have instigated it, well, I'm stopping from today. Let's see if I see anyone again before I die.

[Rare @stfuayen]

when you finally text everyone back but they respond right away

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I have a drawer filled in my room with my children's baby teeth. I have no idea why I'm keeping them or what to do with them. They creep me the fuck out. I'm worried if anyone finds them they'll think it's the beginning of a serial killer backstory.

[Gearóid Óg @gearoid_og]

#EastEnders writing staff in 2010

“For our 25th anniversary let’s have a live episode and at the end Stacey’s love interest dies”

15 years later

“For our 40th anniversary let’s have a live episode and at the end Stacey’s love interest dies”

#EELive

[Freddie @FreddieBailey96]

I'll never understand how some people have an issue with people claiming Universal Credit receiving like £250 a month but not with billionaires avoiding billions in taxes.

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

I often get told I am photogenic. I can't work out if this is a compliment, or an insult generated from suprise that such an ugly cow takes a good photo. I am paranoid that it's the latter.

[Steve @charliewasp]

How come no one has picked up on Charlotte saying ….. ‘it was just like walking into the traitors lair’ ….. how would she she know what it was like in the first place? #TraitorUK #TraitorsUK #traitors