If the whole thing is a work, we might as well grade the entertainment. Games are scored on flips, dives, workrate, angles, & most importantly, booking.
Is the NFL a work or a shoot?
The answer is “well, it’s complicated.”
So this is how this is gonna work: Every NFL week we’re gonna assign star ratings to some (not all) NFL games on the card. Workrate, flips and dives, signature spots, finishes, and overall booking.
Why are we wasting innovative spots like the Barkley backwards leap on forgettable games like PHI/JAX?
When you move contests out of the main event slot like they did here with SNF, you have to book it accordingly, as well. But, ya know, hot dogs & handshakes…
BONUS #WorldSeries RATING
Dodgers - 7
Yankees - 6
LA wins the title with a big comeback as NYY manages to blow every spot in a ridiculously overbooked 5th inning. This was some backyard wrestling junk not fit for the Fall Classic. Bush league? Yes. Dramatic? Also yes.
***3/4
WEEK 8
Commanders - 18
Bears - 15
After the comedy of the bungled big man handoff that would’ve given the Bears the lead, CHI seemingly wins the game in the final seconds before giving up the dumbest Hail Mary play you’ll see this season. Bad game, TREMENDOUS FINISH!
***3/4
BONUS WORLD SERIES RATING
Dodgers - 6
Yankees - 3 (10)
Oh my, down to their final out in Game 1 of the WS, the Dodgers are saved by their gimpy slugger with a dramatic walkoff home run into the RF seats. The reboot on this famous angle was spectacular. Give us more!
*****
WEEK 8
Rams - 30
Vikings - 20
The classics work for a reason. Ref doesn’t see a CLEAR penalty, team gets screwed over it, people get hot. The Rams have been here before… Good game until the overbooked finish - MIN wasn’t going 95 yards.
***
WEEK 5
Falcons - 36
Bucs - 30 (OT)
This game was OVER - damn right it was over. Cousins (500 yds!) picked late, but gets the ball back and they run the always awesome FIRE DRILL SPIKE! Koo bangs home the FG and Hodge gets the YAC for the OT TD. Outstanding all around.
****3/4
BONUS BASEBALL RATING
Mets - 4
Brewers - 2
After teasing a Broadway, Milwaukee gets what appears to be the finisher with back to back homers in the 7th. But in a clever bit of booking, the Mets steal it in the 9th on the Alonso HR after the foul ball spot earlier.
****3/4
BONUS COLLEGE RATING
Alabama - 41
Georgia - 34
The “UGA is 45-3 since 2021 with all three losses to Bama” angle is fun, as was taking a shitkicking early only to rally then blow it at the end. Milroe & Williams are the hottest tag team here since the Road Warriors.
****3/4
WEEK 4
Cowboys - 20
Giants - 15
For those of you keeping score, in their two NFC East games this season, the Giants held their opponent to nothing but FG’s in one and then kicked nothing but FG’s in the other. They lost both. Dimes is NOT GOOD. (Neither was this game.)
*
WEEK 3
Giants - 21
Browns - 15
This Daniel Jones/Malik Nabers angle could be interesting as the rookie WR continually bails out the overmatched veteran QB who continually has no consequences for his poor play. Could be a breakout arc for a potential superstar in Nabers.
**1/4
WEEK 4
Panthers - 36
Raiders - 22
After last week’s fiasco, Goodell slammed his headset to the desk yelling “HORRIBLE.” Bryce Young has been shipped down to OVW for god knows how long and the veteran Red Rocket is taking his bookings. Game quality immediately went up.
**3/4
WEEK 3
Jets - 24
Patriots - 3
Good news: the annoying football team got their ass beat on TNF.
Bad news: the annoying football team looked really good on TNF.
The “You Still Got It” chants might still be ringing from MetLife Stadium. Let’s pray they don’t get louder.
*1/4
WEEK 2
Falcons - 22
Eagles - 21
A curious dropped pass. A suspect celebration flag to set up a dramatic 50 yard extra point. A one minute drill to set up a potential GW FG? Funny how things work out on a prime time game after a couple of duds this week. Fun stuff.
***1/2
WEEK 2
Texans - 19
Bears - 13
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: CHI stinks up the joint on a national game. Williams looks green, Stroud continues to grow, and the Texans win a snoozer. I expect better booking on SNF, but there was only so much to work with here. Ugh.
3/4*
WEEK 2
Chiefs - 26
Bengals - 25
You thought KC was jobbing at home? Entertaining game, 5 4Q lead changes, a fumble return TD, and of course, “CONTROVERSY.” We’ve run this finish before, and done it better elsewhere. The PI flag was the right call, but come on…
****1/2
WEEK 2
Steelers - 13
Broncos - 6
The Russ… Bowl(?) falls flat with Wilson on the shelf. Fields gets a smoke & mirrors 2nd win to take PIT to 2-0 though. Bo Nix blew a bunch of spots. Almost like looking great in dark matches is irrelevant once the lights come on.
-1/2*
WEEK 2
Raiders - 26
Ravens - 23
Minshew more than a JTTS? 3 4Q scores for the UPSET! The more curious part here is how this sets up NEXT week’s game in DAL and whether we’re gonna put the MVP in a losing streak angle. Really good “wait, they’re gonna LOSE?” booking.
***1/2
WEEK 2
Commanders - 21
Giants - 18
Here’s a new one: the Giants score 3 TD’s, don’t give up a TD, and LOSE! The WFT cashes in FG’s on all 7 drives and inexplicably give Jayden Daniels his first NFL win. Kid looked decent. Clever booking, but why waste it here?
**1/2