Men's Minds

One liners, humorous tweets, retweets & highly questionable words of wisdom - all in one convenient place.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you liked my picture from four months ago? You obviously weren't stalking me.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you say you're smoking weed? You should post a Facebook status about it.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Glock announced it's newest gun called 'The Congressman.' It's overpriced, won't work and you can't fire it.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you're a candy maker who lives with short, orange men and never goes outside? Please share with me your criticisms of modern society.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you just received your KONY Action Kit? You're ready to strip naked and masturbate in public, you say? You're such an activist.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you lost the love of your life and you'll never love anyone like you loved them? Being 11 must be so hard.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Nickelodeon needs to remake 'Wild N' Crazy Kids' but with my friends and beer, lots of beer.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you're 30 years old and you still live with your parents? Please, give me some advice about life.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Of course you can trust the government. Just ask a Native American.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, I see you have 1000 Facebook friends. Tell me everything you know about each of them.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

I'm at my most ninja-like when I see a new checkout opening up at the supermarket.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Contrary to popular belief, it's actually the fat that makes you look fat.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, the government says 'zombies don't exist'.. We should believe them, the government would never lie to us!

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, so you have so much homework to do? Try being homeschooled, all my work is homework now.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you wear your pants around your ankles when pick-up girls? How's that been working out for you?

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you're in love you after a week? I bet that it will last forever.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you want to get back into shape? Excuse me, you have a little ranch dressing on the side of your face.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Bubble wrap is like catnip for people.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Whoever snuck the 's' in fast food is a clever bastard.

[Men's Minds @MensMindz]

Oh, you think the Big Bang theory is hilarious? You must be really nerdy.