You’ve already experienced heaven.
You’ve lived through moments of serenity and bliss.
Loved ones around you and sunshine.
Everything was absolutely perfect at that moment.
But you don’t think about it and you don’t appreciate it because your mind is hijacked.
You are constantly anxious about what’s to come.
And ignoring the memories of heaven because you’re thinking of the hell you’ve lived.
Your mind chooses misery.
This paragraph by Haruki Murakami hits hard:
“Once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
your entire life will change when you understand how neuroplasticity actually works.
your brain isn't fixed. it rebuilds itself every single day based on one simple rule: whatever you REPEAT becomes STRONGER. whatever you ignore slowly fades away. neuroscientists have a saying for it: "neurons that fire together wire together."
which means every repeated thought becomes a highway in your head. think "i can't do this" often enough and your brain paves the road so well that the thought shows up automatically. but the same mechanism works in your favor. repeat a better thought, take a better action, and the old roads grow over while new ones get built. it just takes time and repetition.
like Aristotle said: "We are what we repeatedly do."
that's the loop. your THINKING shapes your ACTIONS, your ACTIONS shape your THINKING, and REPETITION builds your IDENTITY. so choose what you repeat, because your brain is always listening
Dostoevsky, 1861, what a line...
“If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.”
Finish something. Anything. Stop researching, planning, and preparing to do the work and just do the work. It doesn’t matter how good or how bad it is. You don’t need to set the world on fire with your first try. You just need to prove to yourself that you have what it takes to produce something.
There are no artists, athletes, entrepreneurs, or scientists who became great by half-finishing their work. Stop debating what you should make and just make something.
The problem is that you don't know what you want to do, and figuring out what you want to do requires learning, experimentation, and effort - so you do nothing.
I knew a man who lost everything and he became softer. i knew another man who lost everything and he became a monster. same fire different metal. the pain did not decide. they decided. and most people do not know they are deciding.
the ones who transmute pain are dangerous in the good way. they have been somewhere you have not been and they came back with something and you can feel it when they walk into a room. they are not pretending to be okay. they are actually okay and that is terrifying to people who are pretending.
pain that is not transmuted gets transmitted. you will give it to your children. you will give it to everyone you touch. it will leak out of you sideways in ways you cannot see and everyone else can
i do not trust people who have not suffered. there is nothing there yet. they are still theoretical. suffering is the entrance exam and some people fail it forever and some people pass it once and become real.
the secret is you have to go toward it. you have to want it more than it wants you. most people run and the pain follows. the ones who turn around and walk into it come out the other side and there is another side and no one told you because the ones who know cannot explain and the ones who explain do not know.
God buries the gold in the wound
God honors his favorites by crushing them, drops the whole insufferable wretched weight of purpose on their spines until they either snap into shape or snap entirely. the unburdened, those buoyant grinning vapid little phantoms drifting through their own lives without a single crushing thing to carry, they are forgotten
I used to lay awake at night cataloguing every terrible thing i'd ever done, as if compiling some grim ledger of my own failings, counting them like a black rosary. but at some point it occurred to me that every single piece of real wisdom i ever gained came directly from one of those terrible things. not from the good choices, not from the times i was right, from the sunken, humiliating nights where i found out what i was actually made of. and it makes you uncomfortable to say out loud but i do not wish i had not sinned, because i would be empty. i would be one of those clean little men who speak about virtue with the confidence of someone who was never tested by it
Simple method of estimating whether a man has actually lived through anything, sit with him in silence for longer than two minutes. the ones who have been through something settle into it like an old animal that knows the terrain by scent. the untested fidget and squirm and reach for something to fill the dead air, squalid little addicts of distraction whose entire inner life amounts to a scrolling feed of borrowed opinions. they have never once sat with the stench of their own unoccupied mind long enough to discover what's decomposing underneath
The cowards who wont sit in their own filth spend their entire lives being puppeteered by it, every single one. the ones who descend into their own squalor and rummage through it with bare hands, those are the only ones who ever come back holding something that actually lights up. thats it, thats the whole secret every self help book dances around for three hundred pages
I would only tell a man's son one thing: your father ate something he wasn't supposed to eat, and now your hunger is broken for life. Everything you want to devour will devour you, every woman you chase without reverence will hollow you out, every power you grab without paying the price will own you. Adam took the fruit because it looked good, and now every son of every man reaches for things that look good and pays the same price. The only thing I would tell you is learn what is not for you, before it teaches you itself
Skills that have nothing to do with money but are worth dedicating an immense amount of practice to:
- semen retention
- disciplining the gaze
- breaking bloodline patterns
- manual labour daily
- decrypting dreams
- digesting Gods silence
- swallowing humiliation consciously
- transmuting sexual rage
- blessing an enemy sincerely
- navigating feminine deception
- entertaining madness sober
- obeying nothing internally but your will
- holding power unannounced
- reading bone structure
- starving the character
- feeding the shadow
- choosing pain voluntarily
- refusing comfort during grief
- commanding your fear verbally
- sitting inside guilt until it teaches you
- walking at night
- reading a face
- breath control under rage
- sleeping on floors
- killing an identity
- commanding a demonic thought
- digesting betrayal cold
- eating alone
- staring at fire