Diogenes of Texas - El Bandito - The Rolling Thunder.
My friends call me Merle.
Death Row skipper, stowaway mongrel from the Oldham County. Matt Devlin Rules.
Up in this windowsill watching all these dipshits walking by staring at their phones. Sometimes I bark just to scare the bejeezus out of 'em. What have you done for America lately?
Just got a new stuffed animal made with Kevlar and I've already ripped it's damn arm off. Kevlar can suck it. Nothing gets between me and wrecking toys.
#kevlar#dogsoftwitter#baddog
Sometimes when I'm napping I dream that I'm flying through Washington DC and not only can I smell the lies but I can see them, too. And it's not even weird.
Then I buzz the tower, bang out a steep spiral, stick the landing and piss on something.
Fuck yeah.
#dogsoftwitter
all the livelong day
been workin' on the railroad,
can't call out sick, though...?
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You'll soon know how valuable rail workers are if they dig in on this. 1 day of sick leave - that's bullshit.
#Railroadstrike#haiku
How is drinking a gallon of water a day such a major undertaking yet I can smash a 12 pack of High Life in one sitting and not even have to cock my leg?
Riddle me that.
#DogsofTwittter
This Muskrat fella doesn't give a damn. It's like when I go to the dog park and start shit with all the fat, lazy, stupid mutts knowing full well I can just hop the fence & laugh at 'em safely from the other side because they're stuck there wallowing in their own feces. Dig?