Miami Dad County

Parenting from dad’s POV. #MiamiDadCounty

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

It’s easy to tell who gets more excited about sex in a relationship. I have 12-15 songs (with beats) I regularly sing about my wife’s booty... while I can guarantee you there are no songs about my junk. #husbandandwife

[JoeyFunk @JoeyFunk]

@MiamiDadCounty why can’t cows wear shoes? ...because shoes are lack-toes intolerant. #miami #dadjokes

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

Why are my girls so opposite? One is tougher than a rock and the other cries when she steps in grass barefoot. #dadlife

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

I helped my 6 and 4 year old daughters do their homework... and now my teacher name is “Ms. Daddy.” #DadLife #Miami #Dad

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

I walk away from the dishwasher for 10 minutes before pressing START. There’s always an AWOL sippy cup. Always. #dadlife

[potsmokingmoms @potsmokingmoms]

@MiamiDadCounty #wegohard
🤣

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

Drive-Thru: “May I take you order?”

Kid 1: “I’ll take 4 nuggets because I’m four!”

Kid 2: “I’ll take 6 nuggets because I’m six!”

Dad/me: “...and I’ll have 35 nuggets with no eye contact, thanks.”

#dadlife

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

Before man feared god, he feared his wife. #dadlife

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

@potsmokingmoms I approach it, they don’t.

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

I’m finding out, what being METAL is all about!! SOFIA THE FIRRRSTT

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

My wife makes fun of me because I use 3-in-1 shampoo +conditioner +body wash. She is just jealous of my efficiency. #dadlife #miami

[JoeyFunk @JoeyFunk]

Space Junk w/Samus Funk - Snap Ships: SABRE X-23 Build https://t.co/tpWoW3LuoD @Snapships #BuildToBattle

[potsmokingmoms @potsmokingmoms]

Just passing it you! 😏😏😏��😏😏.
Have you peeped our latest episode?
Send this spliff to a friend!
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#PotSmokingMoms #psmpodcast #passthejoint #passthespliff #passtheblunt #420mom #stonersunite https://t.co/VUXvHrHfVY

[KayCee @_kaycee_babe]

Did you know that digital shopping cart abandonment annually costs retailers $4 Trillion due to inaccurate data and negative effects on available inventory? Did you also know Trump has an online store?

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

“Dad, were you ever a police officer?” “No, why?” “Where did these fuzzy handcuffs come from?” 😮 💀 #MiamiDadCounty #Dadlife

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

Where do they make the best toothbrushes? Brussia. #dadjokes

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

My kids have ruined my #AnimalCrossing home, as well. #Dadlife #GamerDad

[potsmokingmoms @potsmokingmoms]

We are so excited to see you guys virtually and have our own little sesh later today!! We hope you all have a fun and safe holiday!!

#PotSmokingMoms #psmpodcast #420 #cannabis #cannabiscommunity #weed #420life… https://t.co/WNCyBN0qd8

[Miami Dad County @MiamiDadCounty]

My face when our 3 YO daughter picks up naughty words from mama instead of me. #MiamiDad

[JoeyFunk @JoeyFunk]

New Episode! New season! @potsmokingmom https://t.co/91iSqxysyp