Michael Bremmer

Yeah...I say what everyone else is thinking...

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

I use @Calm most nights to fall asleep. Last night I discovered they have one of their own lawyers read Calm's Terms of Service as a sleep story. 16 minutes and 44 seconds of legalese. I love it when companies don’t take themselves too seriously.

I made it about 90 seconds

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

Marriott is supposed to be in the hospitality business.

Their card “support” page has a fake phone number (555-555-5556), a contact form that errors out, and a doesn’t let you contact them.

@Marriott @MarriottIntl @MarriottBonvoy

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

We added another step for safety. Now it’s unsafe to skip it.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

Most meetings exist to protect ambiguity.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

@WaffleHouse https://t.co/TlfbjSoWMg

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

A process that depends on memory depends on luck.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

If enthusiasm is required reliability is optional.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

I trust people completely.

I just don’t schedule around it.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

If it’s optional it will be skipped first.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

We held a meeting to fix the process. The meeting became the process.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

Hey Verizon, can you hear me now?

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

@Verizon

Can you hear me now?

Nope.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

If everyone agrees nothing’s been decided yet.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

It worked… until it didn’t.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

I don’t dislike people. I just design systems assuming they’ll be unavailable.

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

@Michael_Eisner I just learned you’re the reason I (and the whole generation X) got to enjoy School House Rock.

Thank you ❤️

#conjuctionjunction

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

This Veterans Day, we remember our GI Joes, Janes and heroes of the NSA, CIA, and our secret protectors, our very own “Jack and Jill Bauers.”

Some heroes can’t wear medals. Some can’t even tell you what it cost.

#VeteransDay #CIA #NSA #Army #Navy #Marines #AirForce #SpaceForce

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

2025 —> now I know why Grandpa drank.

If he saw 2025... he'd make it a double.

Costco Wholesale, thanks for understanding the assignment.

#fridayfunny #truth

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

Check out my latest article: Focus Is Violence Done Gently. https://t.co/crqkwbeqEm via @LinkedIn

[Michael Bremmer @MichaelBremmer]

Check out my latest article: The future is now and Ai is the future of business decisions. https://t.co/W6sMu5LhfB via @LinkedIn