Michael Dalto

Writer • Actor

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

For the rest of June (my birthday month), I’ll be raising money on behalf of Bed-Stuy Strong & providing a $2,500 match.

Please make a tax-deductible donation through our IOBY page & DM receipts of your donations: https://t.co/G3xKOazVBg

More info at https://t.co/BQtwOTs81y

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

@MadsEberhardt From what I’m reading, in Switzerland unrealized capital gains is very standard. They also give tax credit if there is a loss in value. This just feels like standard European tax law being implemented which feels a likely outcome since the addition of crypto into etfs

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

Muting JD Vance is my new kink #VPDebate2024

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

I'm like daisy dukes without the baggage

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

Fage in the streets, Gogurt in the sheets.

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

@mspamelagarcia What was the game though

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

@tatianacirisano So succint from @tatianacirisano and a lesson for other industries and companies.

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

Just had a child describe an "old fashion stereo" to me with "discs on top"

"You mean CDs?"

"Yeah, CDs..."

And that's when my soul left my body.

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

@CasualThursday Wait wait wait.

Let he who is with gout sin, pass the first stone.

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

@CasualThursday Let he who is without gout, pass the first stone.

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

Not a hot take: it's clear something is wrong with our educational system if a book like Parable of the Sower is something I'm only reading when I'm 37 when it's perfectly written for high schoolers.

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

@CasualThursday New Mexico looks like a sign for a hot new seafood restaurant. I don't advise eating seafood in New Mexico

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

@CasualThursday Mississippi's looks like the sweat stain in a booth at a restaurant that has spicy wings

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

"do you know your shoe size?"

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

Womansplaining isn't a thing. Unless you're the only man in a spin class in the south.

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

"did she help you with your pedals?"

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

@bigtglanz And follow up question, this is then… objectively… cool. Yes?

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

Be honest. Is me working out in the gym to 90s grunge basically a boomer listening to styx when I was a kid?

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

This F-350 with the Jesus stickers getting stuck in the Starbucks drive thru and inconveniencing everyone is definitely not a metaphor for America or anything guys.

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

Hi. I'm "no just regular cheerios for me, thanks" old

[Michael Dalto @MichaelDalto]

This is your semi-regular reminder that not only was Charles Mingus a world-class Jazz Pianist. He also literally wrote the book on how to train your cat to pee in a toilet.