Michael

Whit's yer hing?

[Scotland National Team @ScotlandNT]

We. Are. There.

#FIFAWorldCup | @FIFAWorldCup

[Mohamed Salah @MoSalah]

Can you tell us how he died, where, and why?

[Jamie @JamieSAFC_]

The Venn diagram of people who find this funny and people who protest outside hotels because they want to "protect our women and children" is a fucking circle.

[𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐁 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @_DIGB]

My wheelie bin tomorrow

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

All managers should be presented as a game show prize in every post match interview tbh.

[Sky Sports News @SkySportsNews]

“What was the direct feedback?”

“Probably not for here mate.” 😬

Ange Postecoglou on what was said between him and a group of Tottenham fans after their defeat to Bournemouth 🗣️

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

Ronaldo is forever a petulant wee cunt.

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

Waiting in this queue

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

@_benpfc I ain’t got all fucking day mate

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

Defeat in Notre Dame.

#BluesInTheUSA

[Accidental Partridge @AccidentalP]

#AccidentalPartridge

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

Me when I'm served a pint in a nice new glass at the bar I'm at

[DartsAnonymous @anonymous_darts]

Fat nine, double eight, shake his hand. Just like that.

Come on you cunt.

[rags @ragsy12]

Took a girl home from the bar last night & she kept asking me if I was the 2004 PGA Championship winner the way I was making that Vijay Singh

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

Going outside to clap at 8pm to salute the real heroes: the creamy Gaviscon firemen.

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

Fascinated by this man's forehead lines.

[Farrukh @implausibleblog]

2016: Daniel Hannan, "Five years from now Britain will be flourishing as never before"

2024: Unelected bureaucrat Daniel Hannan, "We need to be doing more to take advantage of our Brexit freedoms. Perhaps something has gone wrong. And perhaps this is the time to act"

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

Done exceptionally well to win a darts tournament considering he's no arms tbf

[PDC Darts @OfficialPDC]

🗣️ "This is just a catalyst!"

Hear from your champion, Stephen Bunting, after he was crowned the 2024 Cazoo Masters Champion!

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

Bout gave myself whiplash with that double take

[Football on TNT Sports @footballontnt]

What a moment for Micah Hamilton ⭐

WOW! The 20-year-old has scored on his Man City senior debut in the #UCL! 🤩👏

[Michael @MichaelH_95]

Couldn't be my club

[The Athletic | Football @TheAthleticFC]

Manchester United are under investigation by Trafford Council after several people alleged they became unwell after being served raw chicken during an event hosted at Old Trafford. #MUFC

More from @AdamCrafton_ and @lauriewhitwell

[Eden Hazard @hazardeden10]

I'm signing for the champion's league winner.