Michael Habib Mkanda

Padre di ragazze.
Autodidact.
Food guy.
Entrepreneur.
PS-WUUL-Y22S

[Anuj @anujcodes_21]

🚨 Anthropic just showed a 24-minute workshop on how to actually do prompts for Claude.

Taught by the people who built it.

Free. No registration. No paywall.

I've seen $300 courses that don't cover what they teach in the first 8 minutes.

Watch it and bookmark it now.

[Zafer Şahin @zafersahin06]

Bunun karşısındaki stoperler boşuna korkmuyor. Adam aynada kendini görünce irkildi:)

[David de Gea @D_DeGea]

For life ❤️

[Kara @UTDKarra]

OHHHHHH MY WORD 😭

What have you done, Patrick Dorgu? An unbelievable strike from outside the box

This is exactly why every coach wants to play him further forward. Manchester United, we have got a player on our hands

Holy Mary… WOW 🤯

[ATSIAYA @ATSIAYA9]

Nairobi is overrated.

[Michael Habib Mkanda @MichaelHabibMK]

@Masibayi_24 @Felix_nthiga254

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

My top 5 most embarrassing penalties of all time

https://t.co/sriJyBWHhl

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Kama kawaida vijana,Our time to eat good again has arrived. Tomorrow we will be attending the Nairobi city Marathon once again. Not to run,but to chase. Tulisema apa ndio tunapata financially stable women with disposable income to hold us through these tough kasongonomic times. Sasa wale vijana watafuata maagizo ya mhenga,mjue hii August inaweza wapata kule mpumalanga Johanesburg kwa kina Dj Uncle wafos mkiskiza Amapiano in a house balcony in the middle of a game park. Courtesy of a strong independent woman from upper kabete

Tulisema siri ni kutegea hawa wako nyuma,hawa ata hawakiambiangi,the obese,they are here to waste time jogging because they don’t have anything to do on sunday. Sasa wewe uko hapo kuwapa moyo,ukimtolea methali, “haba na haba hujaza kibaba mrembo,lets go” ukikaa kidogo unaongeza ingine, “baada ya dhiki faraja mrembo” . Remember to call her mrembo,even if shes 65 years old,they love that.

Inturn as you’re walking,shes going to point and ask you, “weh,do you know I am old enough to be your mother,ebu stop playing” If shes smiling while saying this,bas! Umegonga ndipo.

Now reply and say “miaka yangu ililiwa na nzige” . Shes not supposed to understand what that means so she’ll ask what? This is how you start a conversation. Mwambie ulichelewa kuzaliwa,lakini makosa niya wazazi. Hapa sasa she will acknowledge this guy has wisdom,I wonder what else hes going to say. And she will tolerate you,she lowers her guard

Na tulisema Wale wako huko mbele wachana nao,hao ni walalahoi. Wamelipiwa na kampuni,hao wacha wang’enganie kushinda pesa. Sisi mambo yetu iko huku nyuma.

And make sure you have also talked about manly things like How you know a friend who was working in a Ukranian Drone manufacturing company,and you buried him recenly in kisii after he was killed by Russian spys in Mozambique

Now In finishing of the running,itakua saa saba ivi,hand her your phone,ask her for her number,,mwambie wewe ni fitness coach. Ama basket ball coach,and you’ll be happy to help her burn a few callories since you dont have much to do. Akikupea namba kesho,Dont text her,text her on Tuesday,ndio asione kama uko desperate eh?. She’ll take some time to think,and then answer on Tuesday evening,

Na juu anajifanya ataki mambo mingi,she’ll tell you to come to be training her at home,on Saturdays. She has a big compound,Theres no way shes driving her Land Rover to your gym (that doesn’t exist) in uthiru to train. Ingia youtube hiyo usiku angalia mastyle.

After 3 sessions kule karen,you must intentionally erect,Amusha kitu! and she sees it,and then you’ll tell her “jesus! This never happens” pretend you’re ashamed. Tell her theres something about her,you just don’t know what. She’ll tell you its okay

Sasa baada ya hapa,niyeye huwa anakutega. She will start by overfeeding you. Baada ya hapa ni mauwano! Na hiyo shamba lazima ulime msuri ndugu yangu,sababu hiyo ndio inaamua sasa kama next week unakula kabeji bila nyanya ama coconut fish and salad.

Wuui! Sema kimeumana. Ukipita mtihani sasa kazi yako itakua kumuombea kikongwe wako asimaliswe na diabetes angalau uenjoy maisha london kidogo. Ukingojea ile kazi ya NGO alikuambia atakuconnect. Hapa naye utakua unamkumbusha kumeza dawa buana. Juu akikufa unajua kile kinangoja apa nje. Ainuliwe yeesu!

[CRIX @OnyChr2020]

So you’re telling me Bruno Fernandes got 13 assists with Højlund up front, but Kevin De Bruyne got only 2 assists with that same striker all season?

[khalif kairo @KhalifKairo]

Deadskin inatoka hapa ni thick kama maganda ya waru

[Nelson Amenya @amenya_nelson]

Kuna jango amepiga US embassy anauliza ka Ruto amelipwa alete Ebola 😂😂

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

SpaceX was less than 10 people back then. We didn’t even have office furniture.

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

First time wearing a suit in 7 years until
@AspireAfrika came through.
How do I look this blessed sabbath,Should I start doing suits?

[Yoko @Kibet_bull]

A youth exposes a state of a road that was launched by Ruto in Bungoma and stalled.

[Ole Teya @TeyaKevin]

Viva polygamy

[Gitz  @Gitz__]

Fifa Officials taking a shortcut to the Stadium cos of Traffic Jam

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

MindFiti is moving from the offices behind the scenes to the ground. Today we held our first medical camp at ACK Lang’ata where we spread our message of mental wellness as we closed the May mental health month.
We are looking forward to more invites from organizations that require mental health awareness including schools,corporates,churches,academies,NGOs etc.
Joint our platform and monitor your dental health from your phone!

[Queen of kaduna @QueenOfKaduna]

The mom has a point 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Ole Teya @TeyaKevin]

Aldrine Kibet's trivela assist

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

I launched @mindfiti_ officially two months ago after I conceptualized and started working on MindFiti exactly 7 months ago. Today we have about 600 users of which 30% are active users about 200 of them for both clients and providers.
I have been able to onboard providers who attend to clients needs as well managed to recruit a few organizations such as churches,SMEs,CBOs and NGOs for partnerships in improving patient care.
Just from doing a therapy session and our telepsychiatry platfeom is one of the most reliable yet affordable and accessible in the market.
I have single handedly funded and built a majority of the platform and I’ll continue until mental health become affordable,accessible and with quality to everyone including those that can’t get to Mathari or afford private hospitals like Chiromo.
I am a ruthless builder and I’ll keep building,go to MindFiti sign up an account enjoy the free mental health features and book for as low as 1500 KES per session.
Share and let’s make out mental health great!