Mike kashani

I'll topple your world cause I'm a muthafuckin' southern boy.

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

@goodrx has a Plan B coupon for 13$ if u hate birth control but love cream pies talk to your Dr. to see if a Plan B prescription is right for u.

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Remember when telling a woman she has a fat ass was insulting? We really are evolving

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Nike Blazers are butt ugly. If you were stupid enough to by a pair please do us all a favor and throw them the fuck away.

[Jack Posobiec @JackPosobiec]

Already watched this 10 times this morning

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

@50cent looking like he went to too many 50 cent wing nights

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

@heathhancock Is that code for dick?

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Shoutout FB memories for reminding me I was an insufferable piece of shit 10 years ago

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

You know how I know I hate myself? I had a McRib for dinner.

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Will someone please invent a condom that will prevent me from catching feelings #urex

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

I thank god everyday I’m not 100% white

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Sometimes the grocery store playlist be hittin. Huey Lewis followed by Call Me Maybe..... ok

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

CDC says not breathing air offers best protection against Coronavirus

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Enjoying nature is for poor people

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

So day 5 of no cigarettes still not as bad as day 5 of no heroin. Prolly not gonna need a suboxone taper

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Is it me or did Sriracha use to be way hotter?

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Watching porn hub. Wishing I had a step sister

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

Please stop saying “it is what it is” no one wants to hear that. Unless maybe u say it when something great happens

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

@6ix9ine will be fine in the witness protection program. He’s a ordinary lookin dude, he’ll blend in where ever he gets sent. #heissogonnagetmurdered

[Mike kashani @MichaelKashani]

History’s Cool Kids: The Best Of Old School Cool https://t.co/Z41WMnsLPO via @ATInteresting