MichaelRoy

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

http://t.co/oivacogG24 The Chinese New Year sure is a lot less ryanseacresty.

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

http://t.co/SRMXslYtwn When I see someone pushing a dog in a stroller I understand why the news is filled with murder.

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

From school to work, I've spent the majority of my life staring out a window, waiting to leave. http://t.co/ID8HrSGkAN

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

http://t.co/MbyWihUtE0 Enjoying an adult beverage in moderation and not bothering any fine ladies from the internet.

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

What was Will Hunting's backup plan if that guy said he didn't particularly care for apples? http://t.co/3aw21kiuFo

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

Revenge is a dish best served with anchovies. Seriously, it hides the taste of cyanide http://t.co/OwledVbxkY

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

http://t.co/BhP87b0H6n Women are like snowflakes: they can't drive

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

So, what if Mohammed does a self portrait? http://t.co/j3KlvdlH3i

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/nlDKBiXORP

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

http://t.co/owZqAibR2B Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

100% of Guy Fieri fans drive drunk. http://t.co/foxl2jnA

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat". http://t.co/0fNoXVh1

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

When will forms stop asking me if I'm Mrs, Miss, or Ms and realise I'm an @? http://t.co/1jZ2WQiD

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

Account in

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

162!!! FUCK YEAH!

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

@stefurr -reception's always better than the wedding:)

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

The *Royota* is clean!:)

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

Fuck *athletic* build. I wanna be Rollins big!

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

Low squat= ass that sticks out:)

[MichaelRoy @MichaelRoy]

159!:) first weight gain after three month plateau! Suck it!