MyKey Points:

I am the awesome. @DyscDan is too.

[Potty-Mouthed Ex-Pastor’s Wife @SwearingsCaring]

To people thinking you can choose your sexuality.

Beloved, if you chose to be straight, you’re bi.

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

it’s gaseOHsa, not gaseosAH

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

@TPointUK …he says, while spending time whinging about socially conscious kids on Twitter instead of…

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

@jonsopel But at least we have snazzy-looking passports, right? #totallyworthit

[Ryan Love @RyanJL]

One person, fighting for more money for people who need it most to survive, is called the grinch. While the rich people above him are having a banquet.

Not a hint of irony.

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Hey what’s an appropriate thing to say to the doctor people when they’re about to take your blood? Cause apparently it’s not “Bon appetit”

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

@ajonwords Yes and you are welcome

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Icing on the proverbial:

https://t.co/tBhjJ6jivA

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

turns out there are only so many times you can make the “this is a hostel environment” pun in a hostel before it actually becomes hostile

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

I knew it was a gay bar when I was humming Spring Awakening on the stairs and the guy behind me started harmonising @TheGloryLondon

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

I entered the Hamilton Lottery for £10 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: https://t.co/SVOYEuzLLu

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Then again, what would you expect from a company with the moral compass of a ham sandwich?

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Fun fact: if the @Ryanair app doesn’t let you check in online (because you have a Venezuelan passport, for example) they will have no issue charging you £55 for checking in at the airport, even though you have no other choice. What a fantastically ethical company they are!

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Okay I don’t normally do this but look what a nice little shape I made with Wordle 228:

⬛⬛🟨⬛⬛
⬛🟩🟩🟩⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Lewdle 08 2/6
⬛🟨⬛⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Better than I’ve ever done on Wordle, funny that…

https://t.co/eP5e1xpvQL

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Best joke of the year:
Q: why are the pyramids in Egypt?
A: they were too heavy for the Brits to carry home

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Hey @Ryanair, why have you emailed all and sundry saying vaccinated travellers need to take a day 8 test to enter the UK when the government have clearly stated only a day 2 test is necessary? 🤔

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Just noticed that ‘Bosnia’ is an anagram of ‘bonsai’ and I’m not sure what to do with this information.

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

@DyscDan

[MyKey Points: @MichaelSBoyle]

Absolutely outrageous that going somewhere new means leaving somewhere else behind. Why can’t everyone just be everywhere all of the time?