Mike Sweeny

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

@Ken_McKenna You have doomed us all

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

@MountainDew 47

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

@MountainDew 48

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

@MountainDew 17

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

@Ken_McKenna Even McDonald’s has a night shift

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

@nikwalt @Ken_McKenna Yes. The jets.

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

#DisbandtheNYJets

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

@teerozycki @theofficenbc @nbcbrooklyn99 @nbcthegoodplace @NBCSuperstore @parksandrecnbc 45 in quarantine years?

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

Michael Scott is the funniest tv character of all time:

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

On 5/1 (hopefully) I’m going to feel like Robin Williams popping out of the Jumanji board

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

This week has been the longest month ever

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

Following a blind man on busy nyc sideway is like following an ambulance.. absolutely no one gets in the way

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

I may exclusively like Latino girls after that

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

Pizza crust is literally just a handle

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

Update: The couple upstairs sexy time is now up to 6 minutes and the thumps per minute are way up.. someone’s been committed to their New Years resolutions

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

I’ve never seen a bumble turn down a pork dinner for dear meat!

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

Long Island has the scummiest drivers they deserve every bit of traffic that island has

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

I’ve been using “aloof” wrong my entire life

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

The wire is wildly overrated

[Mike Sweeny @MichaelSweeny]

“My ribs are going into your dick!”