Michaela Chung

Author and comedian

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Remember when old white men used to rule the world? Things are so much better now that kittens are in charge. 😹

[RTÉ News @rtenews]

'I'm not a cat.' Texas lawyer struggling to remove a cat filter goes viral. I Read more: https://t.co/2KVg9d37mz

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

My current hobbies: starting books I’ll never finish and generally overeating

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

@malicemanderson 2020 finally got to you

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

I have never felt greater panic than when I’m about to sneeze in my mask.
#pandemiclife

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

My ex-boyfriend smoked a lot of weed, which was a problem because how can I trust someone who laughs at all my jokes?
#wednesdaythought

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

I want to reach the level of fame where I feel important enough to tell people to vote.

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Dad jeans are like regular jeans but you only see them every other weekend.

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Scotland is the first country to provide free period products. All it took was a history of men going to battle in skirts to get some empathy. As a great Scotsman once said, They may take our lives but they'll never take...OUR TAMPONS!

#periodpoverty @MonicaLennon7

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

People always ask me if I'm #vegan for health or the animals. Neither - I was just looking for one more way to disappoint my Chinese dad. #asianproblems

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

My mom sent me a video titled How To Come Out To Your Family. Only problem with that is I'm not gay. Apparently, she's given up on wanting grandkids and now just wants explanations. #singleproblems

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Passed a hot guy and thought he was slowing down to talk to me, but no, he was just keeping social distance. Forgot that flirting nowadays is getting within 3 ft. Wink and you're a predator. #flirting #pandemicproblems

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Does anyone else think it's wrong that I saw politician @theJagmeetSingh walking downtown the other day and my first thought was "that's the guy from Tik Tok"?

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Forget sex. What I miss most is being able to fondle avocados before I buy them. #pandemicproblems

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

@rukbat10 Smart! #goals

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Current level of exhaustion: day 5 of picking over the dirty pile for socks. Will buy new socks today to continue avoiding laundry. #selfcare

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Season 2 of Michaela Up Close is here! Today I talk about dumb texts on dating apps, screenshot wars, and tips for sliding into a guy's DMs. I also chat with comedian @RashElie

Listen on Spotify: https://t.co/SQaJJxCUZ8
Listen on Apple: https://t.co/swKlwb03qW

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

I wanted structure in my day so I made a self-care checklist. After 3 days I felt amazing! By day 4 I was like, F*** this checklist! I want naps. But it works. In terms of mood boosting, it's 90% more effective than eating an entire pizza, and about on par with masturbation.

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

The pandemic has led many to profound realizations. Meanwhile, my big revelation is I own too many tight pants. While others prioritize health and love I’m prioritizing letting my crotch breathe. Loose pants from now on. This is the next stage of the feminist movement. #fem2

[Michaela Chung @MichaelaChung1]

Two events in a married couple’s life you don’t mess with. From Ep 4 of Michaela Up Close. Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://t.co/rerWgGHoks
Spotify: https://t.co/A9rVFUP9cJ 😘 #podcast