What you do in private always shows in public. Reading shows in conversations. Your workouts show in your physique. Your diet shows in your energy. Your discipline shows in your confidence. Your focus shows in your results. You are what you cultivate when no one is watching.
Try this too. It helps you bond well with your partner.
Instead of asking, "Where should we go this weekend?" try asking, "What book are we reading this month?"
Sit down over a meal, whether it's yam and egg sauce, pepper soup, hot plate of jollof rice or shawarma, and talk about the story like the characters are people you both know. Disagree, defend your favourite character, share the parts that hit home, and listen to each other's perspective.
Those conversations will tell you more about someone's heart than any any other thing.
The strongest relationships aren't built on expensive dates alone. Sometimes they're built by two people who enjoy learning together, challenging each other's minds, and leaving every conversation knowing each other a little better.
I once called a friend just to check in on her. We had come a long way together. Ours was one of those relationships that had become beautiful, never quite defined, yet beautiful all the same. That night, I called simply to know how she was doing. She didn’t answer the first time. I called again. Still nothing. I figured she’d see the missed calls and return them whenever she could.
She didn’t.
The next morning she sent me a text. “Good morning.” Nothing more. No acknowledgement of the calls from the previous night. No familiar nickname she always addressed me by. Just two words carrying a coldness that felt entirely foreign to us.
I stared at the message for a while. Part of me wanted to ask if she’d seen the missed calls. Then another thought occurred to me: every one of us knows what we are doing. Our actions betray us far more honestly than our words ever do. So I read the message, put my phone away, and never replied.
Hours later she called. I answered, and without thinking, gave her back precisely what she had given me. The conversation felt strange, almost like two strangers trying to remember how they once spoke to each other. Then she laughed and said, “I know why you’re behaving like this.” Before I could respond, she apologized for not returning my calls and for the way she had texted me that morning.
I never asked why she had done it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer. Some explanations only prolong conversations that have already said everything they needed to say. What stayed with me from that day were two things. The first was why it took a certain coldness from me for her to recognize the coldness she had shown me. The second was the realization that every one of us knows what we are doing far more often than we pretend not to. That encounter only deepened a conviction I already held. It is why I struggle to excuse certain behaviour or hide it beneath the convenient blanket of ‘they didn’t know any better.’ More often than we care to admit, they did know. We all do.
If you're born and raised in Lagos you might not realized how damaged of a person you are until you visit another state. Today, I rushed to enter an empty Keke in Ibadan that was still moving and the driver ask me if I'm okay💔
My pastor @pst_iren has a new movie out
You don’t have to go to a physical cinema,you can watch it from anywhere,
It’s a Virtual Cinema Experience.
Do well to get your tickets from
https://t.co/3hyfDigbFp
Oyaaaaa go and buy your tickets ✨✨✨
I kept going back to watch that video on Pastor Jimmy Odukoya’s Instagram, and every time I watched it, I found myself crying.
God is truly El Roi. In just a couple of minutes, everything changed so suddenly.
Kai… this God ehnnnnnnnnn. When He says it’s your KAIROS season, nothing can stop it ooo
Something funny happened when I was buying plantain at the market just now.
A woman was trying to reverse and one bike man started insulting her, saying stuff like "na woman nau".
The man beside me now said "na woman, na why you suppose dey patient", and then I'm like "woman dey drive pass man sha. No be men dey cause most of these accidents wey dey road?"
Then the woman selling plantain, a middle-aged woman, said "leave them, na so dem go dey talk anyhow. Like say women no dey drive well"
And I said "yes oo, even the first driver in Nigeria was a woman", to which she said "ohooo"😂
She now started saying "na only for this Nigeria wey men dey disrespect women anyhow. Imagine person wey dey drive okada dey insult woman dey dey drive beta car because say she be woman".
She sounded so annoyed by it and the thing struck me that even outside the internet, more women are quite aware and irritated by the misogyny we face from men.
The woman in the car was blissfully oblivious of all this discourse she unknowingly caused but it's just an illustration of how much misogyny women face daily, even when they're just going about their daily activities.
This is what is meant by ‘male leadership’ in a heterosexual relationship btw. They share values but he’s more unflinching in expressing them & protecting them, which inspires her bc she’s more naturally accommodating
Zendaya says there's one attractive quality about her husband that makes her jealous and impressed
Zendaya: "Something I am always impressed with Tom about, which I feel like I want to inherit more of, is he's very...
Tom Holland: "Awesome? legendary? talented?"
Zendaya: Yeah, so many great words...but you really stand on your big stickler for respect and kindness."
"Not to say that I'm not doing that, but you just make sure that is in the front."
"And then if that line is crossed, I think sometimes he's better at drawing boundaries and making things clear. And I'm a little bit more like, okay, guys, it's all right, everything's all right."
"You're good at being like, no, no, this is, we're not doing this. You're good at setting the boundaries when they need to be set. Really clearly, really strong."
"So I like that you have, you know what you feel is right for yourself, and you do it, and for others you're very protective in that way.
When I was 22 living in Vegas with my poker buddies we invented a game every time we went out.
If you got REJECTED 5 times by girls you got the night FREE.
All drinks & food was covered by the other guys.
It made getting rejected a positive thing!
You approached unattainable girls because you quickly realized there is no BAD RESULT.
They say no, who cares, you never see them again & get a point.
They say yes, you invite them to join, & have a fun night.
Fear of failure & rejection stops 99% of people.
This was a fun way to completely remove that fear from our lives!!
Highly recommended to young single guys!!
Malice ❌️
Stonewalling ✅️
When act of emotionally shutting down and cutting of every means pf communication is stonewalling, not malice. Malice means intention to harm someone.
If your partner is stonewalling you and all means to fix it fails, just accept the relationship is over. Stonewalling someone who is stonewalling you, is not a relationship
It means approx 4.3m Nigerian "intellectual" men who attack the gospel and pastors get their marriage lessons from a serial fornicator spraying his seed all over the nation.
This gives a good insight into the background of the men (who think like boys) that parade themselves here as intelligent. Imagine you as a woman married to this kind of men, you are doomed forever.
If I find that you ever followed that boy, my respect for you reduces by 98%.
Apparently, Oga and I both have attachment issues. 😂
Ever since he told me he has to travel to their headquarters for work, we've both been acting somehow. It's not even up to one week o... na just 3 days.
Meanwhile, I am seriously considering taking leave from work just to do follow follow.
See me, a full grown adult, behaving like a toddler that doesn't want her favorite person to leave the house.
Love will humble you sha 🥹🥹
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
Has to be one of the most misleading quotes by philosophers🤣🤣
Bruh, in a relationship, when you are absent, you expose your partner to things they could even achieve without your participation, and love shifts sadly.
Humans are naturally built to adjust, so gradually, they get so used to your non-participation in their lives to the extent your returned presence start being a hindrance/obstacle to the lives they already built without you.
I mean, go to Ago palace and ask those women if the absence of their traveling husbands made their hearts fonder, and listen to the hysterical laughter they’d let off.
Be there for people you claim to love. Talk things through whenever you can. Resolve inevitable conflicts amicably.
In Eric’s voice -• Don’t mention o. We don’t do that here.
You will cry blood if you marry such a person, especially if you are highly driven and ambitious to conquer the world.
A woman told a man once that all she wanted in life was to own her own three-bedroom flat and a small car.
The man was poor at the time and saw these as achievable goals
He celebrated the woman's simplicity and shouted it on the rooftops
Then he became wealthy and decided to build mansions and buy his wife cars and employ chefs and drivers
The wife refused to have any of it
She said she told him she didn't want a rich or successful husband; she wanted a simple man who was contented to live a simple life with her.
He had assumed that her taste would grow as they became more successful as a couple
He forgot that it is difficult to change another person's dreams from the outside