Michelle

MAGA! Conservative , country girl who wants her country back. God, country and guns. TRUMP. NO DMS

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

LMAO 🥵🤣

[John Kennedy @SenJohnKennedy]

Dogs are God’s way of apologizing for the relatives God gave us. I want you to meet Charlie.

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

My girlfriend came home complaining that the Walmart cashier was a royal B!TCH. I asked her if she was at the self-checkout. That’s how the fight started. 😆

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

Whenever I see
a warning label
on peanut butter
saying it may
contain peanuts,
I understand
why aliens
don’t visit
us anymore.

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

I left work yesterday pretending to be sick…
Today 2 coworkers didn’t show up, saying they caught it from me…
F*ck!ng liars. 😂😂😂

[Michelle @Michell98425515]

@ThrillaRilla369 Yes

[Buitengebieden @buitengebieden]

How to survive the heat.. 😅

[꧁♛𝓑𝓵✯𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼♛꧂ @heyitsmeCarolyn]

Sleeping Positions: Dog Edition! 🤣😂

[Michelle @Michell98425515]

@ThrillaRilla369 Yes

[Jonathan Slater @slater57649]

You deserve these faces

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

Words Of Wisdom From Children. These Are
Brilliant.

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick,
age 10

2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?* don't answer him. Michael. 14

3. Never tell your mom her diets not working.
Michael, 14

4. Stay away from prunes. Randy, 9

5. Never pee on an electric fence. Robert, 13

6. Don't squat with your spurs on. Shelly, 13

7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
Emily, 10

8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. Bridgett, 11

9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. Traci, 14

10. Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're
eating crackers. Mitchell, 12

11. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic lac. Andrew, 9

12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the
same time. Timmy, 9

13. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of
milk. Jeffrey, 9

14. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. Kellie, 11

15. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a
horse. Naomi, 15

16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Lauren, 9

17. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. Joel, 10

18. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. Amy, 13

19. Never try to baplize a cat. Jason, 8

[🇺🇸 Larry 🇺🇸 @LarryJones]

Father's Day Special. For $500 We Will Arrest You In Front Of Your Wife On Friday And Return You On Monday.

Includes Lodging, Fishing Gear, Food, Beer And Bait.

We Arrive In Police Car And Uniforms.

Any takers?

[Mr. Star Spangled MAGA @4thOfJuly365]

I saw that Elizabeth Warren was trending and my first thought was, "Oh no, her teepee must have burned down."

But no, she's just accusing Trump of insider trading.

Not Pelosi, she's accusing Trump.

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

This is hilarious! 🤣

MEMPHIS WOMAN ARRESTED AFTER LISTING HUSBAND ON FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE FOR $100 OR BEST OFFER

MEMPHIS, TN — In what experts are calling "the most honest Facebook Marketplace listing of 2026," a 47-year-old Memphis woman was arrested after allegedly putting her husband up for sale online with a starting bid of $100 or best offer.

The seller, identified as Tammy Sue Pickens, posted photos of her 49-year-old husband, Ricky Dale Pickens, standing in the driveway holding a weed eater he reportedly hasn't used since the Obama administration.

The listing described Ricky as:

• "Used daily but rarely for intended purposes."
• "Makes mysterious groaning noises when asked to take out the trash."
• "Factory-installed remote control only responds to sports channels."
• "Includes emotional baggage, old fishing gear, and three unfinished garage projects."
• "Needs software updates but refuses to install them."
• "Check engine light has been on since 2017."

Within hours, the listing went viral across Memphis, drawing more than 1,200 messages, 400 laughing emojis, and at least three marriage proposals from women who believed they could "fix him."

According to investigators, things escalated when one potential buyer asked if the husband came with maintenance records.

Tammy reportedly replied:

"No records, but I can tell you exactly what's wrong with him."

Another interested shopper asked if delivery was available.

Tammy's response:

"Only if you bring a trailer and promise not to bring him back."

The situation took a bizarre turn when Ricky learned about the listing after arriving at work and being greeted by coworkers asking whether he preferred being traded for a riding mower or a Blackstone griddle.

One coworker reportedly walked into the break room and yelled:

"Hey Ricky, somebody offered two pit bulls, a smoker, and four tickets to Grizzlies preseason games. You moving?"

Police say Tammy then began scheduling "viewing appointments" for interested buyers.

One prospective purchaser allegedly showed up carrying a tape measure, flashlight, and clipboard.

Neighbors reported hearing him ask:

"Has he always made that rattling noise?"

The highest offer reportedly came from a woman in Bartlett who offered:

• Two goats
• A used bass boat
• Half a freezer full of deer meat
• And a 2004 riding mower that "only needs a carburetor"

Authorities intervened after Tammy reportedly started creating a spreadsheet titled "Potential New Owners."

The Marketplace listing was eventually removed, but not before local residents began debating whether Ricky's trade value was increasing or decreasing.

As for Ricky, sources say he has changed every password in the house, hidden the Wi-Fi router, locked down the Netflix account, and is currently sleeping with one eye open.

Friends say he's also started checking Facebook Marketplace every morning just to make sure he hasn't been relisted under the category:

"Free Stuff — Must Pick Up Today."

Cliff Messer

[Manoco @Moonlighhy]

With the new security guard, thefts have decreased….

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

Funny 🤣😂😎

[Planet Of Memes @PlanetOfMemes]

I've been using baby gates wrong my entire life.

[HELLEN @HellenTrax4329]

For The Love of Horses
Two Horses together are always fun. 🤣🤣

[TONY™ @TONYxTWO]

“I’m not gonna lie to you, being black right now is completely embarrassing. You n*ggas are some of the most vile, inhumane species that have ever graced the earth.”

Stop what you’re doing and watch this 🔥👇🏼

Americans are waking up!!