Michelle

cynical optimist who rarely tweets

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

I'm so cool, I can turn ice into dry ice

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

"I eat cookies to stay awake" I tell myself so I can eat more cookies

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

You know it's too cold out when the degree you try to exaggerate the weather to is actually warmer than the real temperature. #itslike5°

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

I'm in my pajamas too often to be good at snapchat

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

How am I supposed to get friends, let alone a boyfriend, when people on the Internet don't even like me

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

So if I paint my car or something matte black do I instantly become mysterious and cool?! -me, every time I watch Marvels S.H.I.E.L.D.

[Ansel @AnselElgort]

One of the security guards saw me with an unlit cigarette in my mouth, he asked me if I needed a light. I told him it was a metaphor. #tfios

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

I like songs whose lyrics literally ask questions because it gives me the opportunity to respond "no."

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

I'm only alive because of movies. Movies are the best.

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

How terrifying/awesome would it be if planes had an area you could stand on where the floor was glass & you could see everything below you

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

One time I asked my sister what a shishh-e-wow-wah was. Chihuahua. It was chihuahua.

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

I asked my niece if she loved me. She responded "I love me"

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

What rhymes with hug me? Bug me, because this song really bugs me. #sassygirl

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

I like to eat something healthy, and then eat something not healthy because my life is all about balance

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

I could not like the movie Grease, but luckily I have a soul.

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

Going to the bathroom while wearing a high-low shirt is like realizing you've suddenly grown a tail, & then not knowing what to do about it

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

Going anywhere on a Friday night reminds me that a) I have no life and b) anyone younger than me is presumably 12

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

So do I get cool points for having a Disney/Mickey Mouse fanny pack, or no, uncool points?! #forfuturereference

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

I must say being in your home state when a sports team wins is so much better than being out of state. Lots of fireworks!
#blackhawks

[Michelle @Michelleee19]

Just think, somewhere out there is the person who was in charge of making Theons dick in a chest

#gameofthrones