Michelle Isom

Massage therapist by day, shenanigatrix by night, voice actor occasionally, and ginormous geek always.

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

@r_jacz You callin me out?! I'll be rude and mean to you any time I want! Did I hurt your feelings? What are you gonna do about it? Come to Vegas to beat me up? That's the goal!!! Get over here!! 😘😘

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

I need to start a dating service for people who just want to be conveniently attached to each other. Like... you're a reasonably attractive mechanic with back pain? Great! I'm a reasonably attractive massage therapist with a coolant leak! Let's have lunch 🤣

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

Should we talk about the fact that I'm a 37yo woman with no kids but my source of joy today is that a preview for the new season of my favorite cartoon just got released? 😅😅

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

Life is tough when you realize that, not only are you an adult, but you are the adultier adult and it's your job to hold it together for everyone.

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

"I wonder what it would be like to go up and tickle a deceased person."

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

@AeroGarden Nah, don't stress about it =) if the universe says I need tomatoes then I guess I'm growing tomatoes 😊 Are they cherry tomatoes? What kind? So I know how big this is gonna get 😅

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

Anyone else thing there seems to be something suspicious about this "basil" I got from @AeroGarden ? 🤣 9 pods. 8 are basil. One is....

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

My dog just walked up to my bed, belched in my face, and then left the room 😐 This is my life

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

@Jaxmom66 Love Betty!!

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

Are Dove deodorant and Dove chocolates from the same company?? And why does that bother me so much??

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

More people need to understand the absolute dread you feel as a self-employed massage therapist who has realized she hurt her shoulder during a session and now has to choose between healing or paying bills

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

I hate that I'm so insecure as a human that I even second guess the texts I send my best friends for fear that they're suddenly going to decide I'm annoying and they hate me 😅

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

Can we all talk about the time @HeatherIScott tried to murder me with oregano? #scarredforlife #literally 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

I just sneezed..... inside my face mask.... and there's no way I can change it for at least the next hour. My life is a joke 🤦🏻‍♀️

[MaaikeDx 🖌 @RembrandtsRoom]

When it’s cold you can see the song.

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

@paulbyrom There was a drive for people to change the phrasing to "completed suicide" to take away the negative feelings that come with "committed"

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

@AmazonHelp Both lost packages have had replacement shipments sent. It has just taken me three separate hour long conversations for each package. Six total. But it's done.

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

I've had two @amazon shipments lost in transit in the last ten days. Apparently this is how 2022 is going to go for me 🤦🏻‍♀️😫

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

@AmazonHelp Funny enough, both were shipped with Amazon 🤣

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

@AmazonHelp I have spoken to 6 different reps in the last 13 days 😐 I've literally lost hours to you guys.

[Michelle Isom @Michelleism]

Please do not walk into a French Patisserie and ask us to microwave a croissant and spread cream cheese in it for you. We are judging you.