Captain Midlife Crisis

#midlifecrisis
#notspecial
#ambivalence

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

This is the best part of your life now and it is fucking awesome.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

Turns out you cannot automatically deal with emotional issues just because you are 30+. Turns out it gets harder.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

@elonmusk lel

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

You grew old when you can't keep up with the speed young folks are developing their own #language.
#midlifecrisis

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

#midlifecrisis is when you stop sharing #photos on your #tinder profile because you already know you don't care when you are on this app. Also she shouldn't.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

@Mimi00985166 No. It has just begun.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

Exactly.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

#midlifecrisis might be connected to knowing whole #biographies from #porn stars just because you noticed them from start to today.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

As a part of growing #older you get to have a #checking #routine on the toilet wether you shat yourself during the last farts or not.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

#midlife crisis is all about throwing fullfilling #relationships into the garbage can. Don't let anyone tell you else.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

#sex is important.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

I guess sex is not so important anymore.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

Remember kids: if you have to chose wether to go on a #date or masturbate always go for the date. It definiteley will remind you what a precious thing #masturbation is afterwards.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

You can be sure of your #midlifecrisis when the main content which keeps you going are stupid pictures made by people age 10-50.

#memes

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

#midlifecrisis is when it doesn't matter what you are talking about but you'll always feel inadequately too young or too old for it and ypu should have dealt with it long before or don't even think about it yet. Except frogs. Frogs are great.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

#midlifecrisis rules. You get to wake up at 8 pm and feel like a #rockstar.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

You know you hit #midlifecrisis when the guys you get into a #fight with deep #drunk are as half as #old as you.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

When you write those #tweets for that one #follower

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

You start a bunch of #DIY just so nobody will notice you spent all your money on #drugs and #alcohol again.

[Captain Midlife Crisis @MidlifeCaptain]

#midlifecrisis is when a #user of an #imageboard starts to repost your tweets to look for your identity.