MidlifeMindfuck

Finding the joy in Midlife one tweet at a time.

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Is there anything better than reaching for your glasses and finding them? #MidLifeMindfuck #midlife #readers #icantseeshit

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

We are witnessing the death of ‘buck up’ culture by warrior women🌟 #SimonBiles #NaomiOsaka #mentalhealth #MidLifeMindFuck #buckedupequalsfuckedup

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

‘Take a deep breath’ is the new ‘calm down’ for an anxious person. #MidLifeMindfuck #midlife #anxiety #calmdown #relax #takeadeepbreath #eitherwaysucks

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Being from a generation that was taught to turn off the water while brushing their teeth......Is anyone else concerned about all the water that is getting wasted by all the hand washing? #Midlifemindfuck #midlife #WashYourHands #coronavirus #Covid_19 #StayHomeSaveLives

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

In my 20’s I spent my money on booze, in my 30’s I spent my money on clothes and in my 40’s it is apparently going to be on readers. #Midlifemindfuck #midlife #readers #warbyparker #caddis #eyebobs #vintandyork

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Ummmmmmmm.....hmm.
#Midlifemindfuck #midlifeinspiration #midlife #JLoSuperBowl #ShakiraSuperBowl #jloshakira2020 #fiftyisthenew30

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Never being able to chuck your Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons even after signing up for their texts which constantly send you Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons🤷🏻‍♀️. #MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #bedbathandbeyond #coupons #recycle #20percentoffoneitem

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

I am at peace with the fact that I have never ridden a mechanical bull. #MidlifeMindfuck #peace #noregrets #mechanicalbull

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

**unauthorized adult attempting to speak to me**

Cue "baby shark" on repeat until the storm passes.

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

When it is easier to change the whole outfit rather than get down on all fours and start searching for the missing shoe that completes the ensemble you are currently wearing. #MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #downonallfours #wherethefismyshoe #nowimhotandsweatytoo

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Now, when I walk by an ancient tree covered in lichens, my skin waves in solidarity. #MidlifeMindfuck #lichens #sunscreen #wrinkles #liverspots #midlife #trees

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Wakes up suddenly at 2am: holy shit, I've got to get my life together! #MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #CHANGES

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Mothers Day should be spent doing what you did before you morphed identity. Vodka and lines.

#MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #MothersDay #vodka #HappyMothersDay

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

No one speak to me for 12 hours. It's my right as a mother. #MothersDay
#MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #MothersDayWeekend #shhh #stfu

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Young me: the mini bottle if 20 ibuprofen will last a year.

Now me: is 500 capsules from Costco really enough?

#midlife #MidlifeMindfuck

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Am I the only one that thinks @KYBrand should be making a super sized pump version? #MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #midlifesex #sex #kyjelly #lube #supersizeme

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

When you have to pull your eyelid all the way back to your ear to get skin tight enough for eyeliner application. #MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #makeup #eyeliner

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

Realizing you have left FOMO land for JOMO island and being happy AF about it. #MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #FOMO #fearofmissingout #JOMO #joyofmissingout #happyaf

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

I will never understand how we allowed current porn to dictate the length and shape of our pubic hair. #MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #brazilianwax #bikiniwax #manscape #nohairleftbehind

[MidlifeMindfuck @MidlifeMindfuck]

My mail box just coughed up a offer to join AARP. This shit just got real. #MidlifeMindfuck #midlife #AARP #RealityCheck #denial #junkmail #TruthfulTuesday