Spam Call

[marmot @MarmotRespecter]

i am once again thinking about my friend's taiwanese mom who, shortly after gaining citizenship, got her first jury summons

just a few minutes into voir dire they asked her what she thought the penalty for shoplifting should be and she said "death." they sent her home

[timi 👾🎧 (tN) @timboNASTY]

nigga applying for jobs on apex, craziest recession indicator I've ever seen

[indy of the rotund table @therotundtable]

you’re just blatantly not me nan

[🇰🇵단일성 Commie on the Rez 단일성 🇰🇵 @patriach2051]

Welcome to the Land of the Free

[A T @naughtyrobot725]

Memory cards were actually good. But tech companies destroyed that market and forced us to take cloud storage subscription, giving them access to our personal info

[Julie @juliesaysthings]

Dream bigger, people! Three day weekend EVERY weekend and no, I’m not talking four 10 hour days.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

How the IT guy looks at you when you ask him a question directly instead of submitting a ticket

[Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie]

The “Americans can’t afford food, but if they could, the food may kill them,” stage of Republican governance and deregulation.

[Oluwatimileyin✨🦋 @Timmysofine]

"We regret to inform you"

You will regret informing me

[Haydn, 🇵🇸 @bilbosfootcomb]

“Germany’s largest deportations” is going to be quite a feat given who holds the current record

[🎥🍿Okami 3.0🚀👷 @Okami3_0]

Ando en un lugar donde venden y reparan bicicletas y miren esta imagen durísima

[James | PlagueTV @PlagueTV]

I was just thinking that airports would be 10x better if we added a bunch of people that dont need to be there.

[Dylan O'Sullivan @DylanoA4]

It has to be Kierkegaard

[regular sized ackman @pleas4nt]

Fucking the article man for articles

[Assal Rad @AssalRad]

It’s crazy how bombing hospitals was a war crime until Israel did it over and over again. Now it’s barely a news story.

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

I wonder why we're rolling back all these regulations. It's not like Burgum (Interior), Wright (Energy), plus Beck, Dekleva, & Evans shaping EPA policy are all "former" oil, gas, and chemical industry insiders and lobbyists.

The call is coming from inside the house.

[monica @hindulebron]

Posting this as the account’s about to receive massive engagement in a couple days

[Swollen 🔻 @Swollentwt]

*entire city in the background is rubble*
Yeah bro i wonder why they want to defend themselves

[K. @IbaraEleven]

Maybe making life unaffordable for everyone was a bad idea

[em @emilyagain]

Still thinking about this