Meredith

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

"I hope you find a husband that can afford the life you already think you're living"

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

This is what happens when you change and then promptly lose your Twitter password

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

@damnitchristine It's the tweens that get to me every time

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

Just found out my youngest brother has been accidentally cockblocking Theodore's dad by telling everyone that they have in common that they're brother in laws. Apparently it's too much work to explain that I got drunkenly busy on a Tinder date.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

My mom just realized that me starting a job next week means I can't do all the laundry, meal making, and dishes. Boy is she annoyed

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

y'all, we went to a catholic wedding yesterday. I used what I thought was a water fountain to top off Theodore's juice bottle, but it turned out to be a fancy container of Holy Water.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

@10baseME I'm putting more effort into the snack shopping list than I am the packing list.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

Raise your hand if you want to drive with Theodore and I from Iowa to New Orleans next week.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

You literally just have to keep us from going crazy/me from falling asleep. You can stay in the AirBnb and do whatever while we do funeral stuff.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

@Jeffreydwillems @AreWeFriends @JaycubNewtunz bring it back!

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

@PaigeySkywalker @patricskywalker so that's why he always stays home alone

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

There was a woman who I dislike at the 5k I ran today, so I managed to shave 6 minutes off my time just because I wanted to beat her

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

@PaigeySkywalker I feel like there was a little more variety during Rachel;s season, but maybe I just blacked it all out

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

How many times will Becca take a one-on-one date to a concert and make out for the crowd?

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

Instagram should make it so that you don't see the comments from private accounts unless you follow them. Imagine how much happier the place would be.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

Pepper the daschund is sick, so she gets the ENTIRE couch, even though the chair makes my back hurt.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

People in my hometown seem really surprised that their off leash dogs are running away while the humans are shooting off fireworks.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

Thank god it would take too much effort for me to get pregnant, because my child's new favorite game is throwing his baby doll off the top of the stairs.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

@PaigeySkywalker It sounds like Gary knows what's up

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

@patricskywalker get an iphone and put it on Do Not Disturb.

[Meredith @MidwestMere]

@PaigeySkywalker until all the olds die