Michael

Table of Contents: Fitness, Nutrition, Wellness, Vodka, Celebrity Gossip, Drag Queens, Dirt and Glitter.
One of the few TRUE Austinites. I love this city.

[Michael @MiguelATX]

If I get one more egg & cheese protein box from @Starbucks with a soggy salt and pepper packet I SWEAR TO GOD... #FirstWorldProblems #WhiteGirlProblems #ugh

[Michael @MiguelATX]

OMG YAS

Adam Rippon AND Matt Bomer both in the same episode of @WillAndGrace 😍😍😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

I’m now triple married, it turns out.

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Okay @trixiemattel! I see you in that @SKYYVodka commercial! 🙌🙌🙌 Go girl! Did you also get to meet my baby daddy @JohnCena ??? 🤤🤤🤤

[Michael @MiguelATX]

THEY BROUGHT BACK THE SHREDDED CHICKEN AT TACO CABANA THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

[Michael @MiguelATX]

If you’re not using @DollarShaveClub, you’re dumb.

Story: my handle broke. My next shipment isn’t til October. I messaged them, and they are sending a replacement in 4-6 days. Free of charge.

Now THAT’S #CustomerService 🙌🙌🙌

[Michael @MiguelATX]

All these Tara Reids in #Sharknado6. There’s no way this is the last movie. Ready for #Sharknado7 - TaraReidnado.

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Absolutely dying over the last Sharknado rn. It makes the LEAST sense of all of them, and is also the BEST one because of that. Oh, and @Alaska5000 is an evil sorceress. So, there’s that. #Sharknado6

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Caption on an episode of “The Real” just now:

“We’ve got a piping hot cup of shade!”

😒🤔🙄
Wouldn’t that be the APPROPRIATE time to use “tea”?

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Y’all.

#IndependanceDay is trending on Twitter. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Makes me hate Americans.
Also makes me want a hot dog real bad.

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Ok @RuPaul ...
I see you with this Power of Now inspired challenge!
Light cannot exist without the darkness. LIVE THIS.
#EckhartTolle @RuPaulsDragRace #PowerOfNow

[Michael @MiguelATX]

It’s Pride Month! Yaaaaas! Be as gay and fabulous as you want, and wear as much makeup as you want. Like @trixiemattel , you are ALL STARS! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖 #Pride #GayPride #LGBTQ #LoveIsLove #TrixieMattel #TracyMartel #rainbow

[Michael @MiguelATX]

OMG @Crosbylicious YELLING AT THE METER MAID ON THIS EPISODE OF @futuremanonhulu. I’m dead.

[Michael @MiguelATX]

@RuPaul We tried to have our team name be “We’ve still got SheMail”. They made us change it bc it was “too offensive”. #sigh #ThatsThePoint 🤣🤣

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Are you hearing Laurel or Yanny?
I’m just hearing....

[Michael @MiguelATX]

So so so excited to see @todrick tonight at @emosaustin! If this is anything like his #StraightOuttaOz tour, we are in for a treat again!

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Well this is officially the worst day of my life.

@TacoCabana doesn't carry the shredded chicken anymore.
I literally have no reason to ever go there again. 😭😭😭😭

#Heartbroken #WorstDay #FajitaChickenJustIsntTheSame

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Sorry boys... I’m off the market now.
Ezra Miller and I just smiled at each other.
So... I guess I’m engaged now?

[Michael @MiguelATX]

@Bazilay @PerezHilton NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It was my fave part of SXSW 😭😭😭😭😭

[Michael @MiguelATX]

I haven’t heard anything yet about @PerezHilton and his #SXSW #OneNightInAustin this year! 😭😭😭 Perez, are you not doing it this year? I’ve been every other year you’ve done it! 😩😩😩

[Michael @MiguelATX]

Watching #Publizity videos at the gym, stopped to do deadlifts, thought about #MyNieceDenise, and laughed mid-lift. Now my shin is bleeding.

I blame @nickkroll and @jennyslate