Possibly Mike Brown

I'm the frequently misunderstood Owner/GM of the Cincinnati Bengals. I set up this parody account to set the record straight.

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Wait — who the hell is “Paycor?”

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Imagine not spending to make your team better.

Couldn’t be me. #Bengals #Reds

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

It’s really hard to find a hat that fits. #SuperBowl #RuleItAll

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Imagine being this miserable while everyone else is having a great time.

[Chris Wetterich @ChrisCinciBiz]

Lol Cincy media tracking the Bengals’ arrival at LAX like they’re the president.

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Cincinnati: You’re welcome. #RuleTheJungle

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

I see a lot of you “I’LL NEVER SUPPORT THIS TEAM AGAIN!” people at Arrowhead today.

Just saying. #RuleTheJungle

[T.J. Houshmandzadeh @housh84]

Who Dey!

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Some we’d argue we never left.

And, thanks to our incredible tax lawyers, that’s the way it’s staying.

[The Bopper @TheBopper]

@MikeBrownGM You back?

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

There.

Are you people happy now? #RuleTheJungle

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

The craft beer thing is a fad.

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

FYI: Our computers didn’t crash. We just kept getting knocked offline because someone downstairs was picking up the phone while we were trying to use the modem. #Bengals

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

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- The Brown Family Runs Cincy -
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[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Oh, and to every idiot out there tweeting

“tHe BeNgAls wILL jUsT sCrEw HiS cArReR uP!!!!!”

Delete your account. #Bengals #SeizeTheDEY

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Can I submit the pick card for Joe Burrow now, or do I really need to wait until the draft? #SeizeTheDEY #Bengals

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

At getting us the #1 pick?

Absolutely Finley > Dalton. #SeizeTheDEY

[John Pierce @JohnPierceNFL]

If you've ever said Finley > Dalton, delete your account.

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

I still think this Lamar Jackson thing is a fad. #SeizeTheDEY

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Although the irony isn’t lost on me that our “We will not make other teams better,” stance doesn’t really apply to the W-L record of our opposition.

We’ve been very open to helping other teams with that this season. #Bengals

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

What happened to football? I wake up and suddenly we’re like baseball — trade deadlines and players being “shopped.”

My father is turning in his grave.

Football is war. The other players are your brothers. Who would trust a soldier that just defected from other side?

Awful.

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

Rest assured, Bengals fans: I have seen your concerns and our organization will take swift, decisive non-action to address all of our on-field problems.

[Possibly Mike Brown @MikeBrownGM]

*reaches for the Rolodex to get Hue Jackson’s phone number*

#Bengals #SeizeTheDEY