FunnyManMikeCotayo

Mike Cotayo has been captivating audiences for over 20 years. His style is a blend of high-energy performance, quick wit, and engaging crowd work.

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

This Saturday come to Cugini's Pizza in the Town Brook Commons.
794 NJ-35
Show starts at 7 pm.

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

This Saturday come to Cugini's Pizza in the Town Brook Commons.
794 NJ-35
Show starts at 7 pm.

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

This Saturday come to Cugini's Pizza in the Town Brook Commons.
794 NJ-35
Show starts at 7 pm.

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Just saw a participation trophy for 'losing gracefully.' Seriously, where's my trophy for 'surviving awkward family reunions'? #participationtrophiesgonewild #firstplaceatlosing #wherethehugsaredue @StephenAtHome @TheDailyShow #funnytweets #parentinghumor #millennialmemes

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Thought giving my car a 'Sugar Rush' would boost its horsepower. Turns out, horsepower prefers actual horse food. Now I'm stuck pushing this sweet chariot home. #comedygold #badlifehacks #horsegastankmishaps

@StephenAtHome @TheDailyShow #funnytweets #carproblems #comedylife

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Even my dreams are self-sabotaging! Last night I had a dream that I had an impromptu audition for a cruise line, in which I cursed and told dirty stories. I did not get the gig.
*
#ComedyDreams #DreamsGoneWrong #SelfSabotageLaughs #ComicFailures #LaughingAtMyself

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Doc says my temperature's high, but I think it's just the fever from your suggestive eyebrow raise. #medicalmystery #flirtydocproblems #needanicepack #funnytweets #standuplife #comedygold #wherestheeyewash #singleandlooking

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Wife says she 'deserves the finer things' but then hides the last cookie. Guess the sugar daddy life will have to wait. #treatmelikequeenbutpaylikeprincess #cookiethief #marriedlife

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Chimney too tight, reindeer took flight. Santa's stuck, Christmas might be a fright. Any milk and cookies to bribe my way out? #clausproblems #santasos #helpajollyoldsaintnick

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Just tried audience work tonight. My bad, geography is hard. #comedianadventures #lostandfound

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Just saw a tweet with more advice than my therapist. Can someone hit me with a "damn, that's funny" instead of a "you okay, boo?" #comediandonttherapy #jokesnotjudgements #lolsbeforelifehacks

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Therapist thinks my jokes are "coping mechanisms." Mom thinks they're award-winning material. I think they're a cry for help (with a mic). #comedicdilemmas #momknowsbest #notsureabouthertherapyskills

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Eavesdropping level: Expert. If you're talking, I might just judge your outfit from across the room. It's all in good fun, right? 😅👗 #EavesdropAndRoast #FashionInsider

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

My ADHD mind is like having 20 browser tabs open simultaneously. If you ever need information on random trivia or the best ways to procrastinate, I'm your person. 🧠🚀 #ADHDLife #MultitaskingChampion

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Microphone decided to take a nap mid-performance. No worries, I've got backup vocal cords that can reach the back row without any amplification. Let the yelling commence! 🎤😅 #MicrophoneMishap #YellingSkills

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

My mind is like a Rolodex on a caffeine binge—constantly flipping through thoughts faster than I can finish a sentence. It's a wild ride up here! 🎢🧠 #ADHDAdventures #ThoughtsInMotion

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Life's full of surprises, and so am I. Hanging out with me means navigating the unpredictable territory of laughter and unexpected sound effects. Consider it an adventure! 😂💨 #LifeSurprises #ChooseYourVibe

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Was almost robbed and thought, 'I need a new hobby.' So here I am, boxing my way through life. Note to potential thieves: I've got jokes and jabs! 🥊😅 #BoxingDefense #ComedyProtection

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

PSA to my stand-up audience: I have supersonic hearing during my sets. Your whispers and comments? Louder than you think. 🤫🎙️ #StandUpAwareness #ComedyEars #PSA

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

#NYCComedyLife #NYCComedyCommunity #StandUpNYC #ComedyInNewYork #NYCFunny #ComedyCentralNYC #NYCComedyClub #FunnyInNewYork #NYCComedyNightlife #ComedyLifeNYC #NYCStandUpComedy #NYCComedyShows

[FunnyManMikeCotayo @MikeCotayo]

Politely requested the person I'm following to slow down. It's not a race, but they're sprinting like they're being chased by a swarm of angry geese. 🏃‍♂️😂 #WalkingWisdom #SpeedyCompanions #ComedianDad #StandUpDad #LaughingDad #DadJokesForDays #DadHumorComedy #ComedyNYC