Mike Garrison

♿️ Sit-Down Comedian. Paralyzed since 2006. Husband & twin dad. Rolling through life, sharing real-life laughs.

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

Be honest. What state makes you nervous when you see the license plate? 👇

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

I said “pimples”…my toddler repeated it WRONG, and now I’m in trouble 😂🤦‍♂️

#DadLife #Comedy

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

I accidentally ran over a stranger’s toe with my wheelchair in the grocery store.

Built like a bulldozer. Dropped to his knees in the chip aisle.

Some people shake hands. I leave tread marks and tears. #comedy #storytime

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

Raising a snotty tissue toast to the holidays 🥂🤧 Thanks to twin toddler germs. Merry #Christmas! #DadLife

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

Hey @SimonSquibb 👋
I don’t want your money. I want your time.
I’m building a dream around making people smile. Lunch is on me. 😏

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

@lady_valor_07 Getting older.

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

@nateland_ent @natebargatze @billboard Well deserved! A true comedy icon!

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

ABC News announced a woman in a wheelchair is going 62 miles above Earth. ♿️♿️🚀

I’m paralyzed too, and I lost a fight with my sweatpants this morning. 😂

Some people are built different. Respect.

#Comedy #DisabilityHumor #ShareASmileToday

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

@oelma__ Adventure Bay saving Mayor Humdinger and his cats again… #DadLife

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

I just got pulled over for honking at a cop. I’m paralyzed, I drive with hand controls, my honkers are fully booked. I DID NOT HONK. 🚓♿️😂

#Comedy #FunnyReels #storytime #wheelchairlife #paralyzed

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

My 2-year old told me (her paralyzed Dad) to “kick it.” I guess it’s time for THE TALK…

Not that one…the KICK TALK 😂♿️🤦‍♂️

#LifeOnWheels #Paralyzed #DadLife #Wheelchair #Comedy #ParentingHumor #Storytime #LaughterIsTheBestMedicine

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

Back when my glasses weighed more than I did, my braces were cranked tight, and I was elementary Math Club certified 😂

#childhoodmemories #90skids

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

The REAL reason I don’t play wheelchair basketball…or any sports for that matter 😂♿️ #Comedy #Wheelchair #Storytime #Paralyzed #LifeOnWheels

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

There are big awards, and then there are Fastlane Raceway Offroad RIOT race BIG awards! It was awesome to design and create these BOOM Graphics 20"x20" monsters!

#custom #awards #trophies #graphicdesign

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

More tea = more talent 😂 Thanks to a little extra iced tea this weekend I was able to grab the win 🥤🏆 #rccar #rccars #rc #racing

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

Missed the win today by 1.8 seconds. I KNEW I should have had one more unsweet iced tea before the main 😂

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

When I decide to try something new it usually involves wheels, high speeds, and a motor, but today was quite the opposite. Today I slowed down a bit to go “back to school”, sit in a classroom, and attend a business coaching course with @actioncoachskc 🧠🏁

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

I’ve reached the point in my life that the phrase “poppin’ bottles” means something entirely different than it once did. 😂🍼🍾 #twindad #poppinbottles

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

"Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt"

📸: Thom Dawe

[Mike Garrison @MikeGarrison247]

OOOOF. Thank goodness for my Applied Technology Inc. Race Tech suspension, or I'd still be bouncing back to earth after coming up short on this one. 😂

📸: Thom Dawe