Michael Jordan

Chicago Bulls 6-Time Champion,14-Time NBA All-Star, 4-Time Olympic Gold Medallist,10-Time NBA Scoring Champion. Parody.

[Breaking News GO @BreakingNews_GO]

MJ made the defender run away😂 http://t.co/94D1DTauzJ

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

People don't always change but perceptions certainly do.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

It's ridiculous how fuckin filthy some women are on twitter.

Followed.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

What I lack in insight I also lack in motivation, love, enthusiasm, affection, relevance, emotion, fuck I could go on forever.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

If u can't smell her hours after she's gone you either

A. Don't know how to fuck
B. Fucked a chic with a dick

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

Every time you lie to yourself for the benefit of another individual your soul dies a little.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

Once you figure me out let me know what’s wrong with me.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

Bitches are crazy.

I guess I’m a Bitch.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

Sometimes, I never check to see who follows me back because I don’t have expectations on the fuckin Internet.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

Just met my perfect match….

in the motherfucking sock basket.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

I wanna lick your top tweet, in person.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

If bitches are crazy then dudes must be straight up psycopaths.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

When I look into your eyes I just wanna sleep with me.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

I’d procrastinate but I never have anything to do.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

Hey motherfuckers, stop doing that.

I wanna be the one fucking all the mothers.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

Steps to get rid of a clinger who isn't on twitter:

Step 1: Show them your twitter

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

When a hot girl posts a pic on Facebook, I think we all know the first comment is from that creepy 50-year old guy with 1717 mutual friends.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

Hey technology, invent a broom that picks up the debris already.

[Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan]

I just saw my favorite tweeter on America’s Most Wanted.