Mike Lauro

Stand up Comic

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

When I die I want wacky inflatable flailing arm guys at my funeral

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Naa youre right, dante moore is wayyy better than fernando mendoza smh #CFP2025

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Diego pavia is gonna go undrafted and in 2 years, hes gonna lead a 4th quarter comeback for a winless team and ppl will think hes the new baker mayfield #sec #vanderbilt

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

@Jeff_Mans with daniels out, im leaning justin herbert because of how he has played so far, but would you play herbert or michael penix this week?

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Being a jets fan is the same thing as a girl being like “i can fix him”

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Parking signs in the city is ridiculous, i just did PEMDAS to make sure i can park my car

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Here’s a math problem for you: youre early to work everyday, fall comes and the entire department of education drives less than the speed limit. How late will you be to work?

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

I think all the traffic teachers cause is a direct response to the lack of homework i did growing up

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

@MattHarmon_BYB would you consider starting romeo doubs over garrett wilson this week in a 12 team PPR that starts 3 WR and a flex? Also starting mike evan, stefan diggs, and dj moore

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Today may be 9/11 but that game was 10/10 #MNF

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Why are we all shocked that the country singer is possibly racist?

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

I feel like ted bundy would be an android user

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

America turning 247
America: i think im just gonna do something small this year

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

If you start setting fireworks off on july 1st, i assume you prematurely ejaculate too

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

@Jeff_Mans hey would you do this trade? In a PPR, giving up tee higgins, najee harris, and deon jackson for justin Jefferson and ceh…my rb would still be lenny fournette, rhamondre, and jt

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Today is my birthday and tonight im on this show. So if you dont come to this show, i will take it as a sign of disrespect https://t.co/ynyBUptmf1

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

@JeffRatcliffe Thats how ive been leaning too, thanks man

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

@JeffRatcliffe hey jeff, im in a 12 team ppr keeper league, i can keep jalen hurts for the 2nd to last round pick in my draft or i can keep trey lance for the last pick in my draft, who would you keep?

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

@FinnBalor be like #WWERaw

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Me: im gonna sleep like a baby tonight
*Me waking up in the middle of the night crying cuz i shit myself*

[Mike Lauro @MikeLauroComedy]

Shawn michaels looking like he fighting marines again #wweraw