Cold Hand Mike

All views are stolen from cooler, funnier people.

[Adam Hurrey @FootballCliches]

Honestly, this has stunned me
https://t.co/zNbG34Fvyi

[Cold Hand Mike @MikeLondonW]

@mjshally @ruthtewkkers

[Duncan Alexander @oilysailor]

Liverpool not scoring vs Leicester means Arsenal 2001-02 remain the only team in PL history to score in every single game in an entire season. For me, remains cooler than not losing in 2003-04.

[Cold Hand Mike @MikeLondonW]

Here it is guys - so excited to announce my new partnership with StealyFakeCoin. I've been a huge fan of Crypto for years now and finally found a currency that is as fake and bad as possible. I'm doing some StealyFakeCoin giveaways on my page later this week - stay tuned! #proud

[Effie UK @Effie_UK]

A big bravo to Silver #EffieUK winners @cushelle & @publicispoke, @Zenith_Media_UK & @WeAreBlueChip who stole our hearts with this devastatingly cute kleptomaniac koala in your 2020 campaign. Your stellar brand-building & timeless marketing principles were a hit with our jury!

[Cold Hand Mike @MikeLondonW]

Madness.

[YouGov @YouGov]

Do you refer to the coming weekend as ‘this weekend’ or ‘next weekend’? The nation is divided, and age is key

All Britons: 'this' 40% / 'next' 56%

18-29 year olds: 61% / 31%
30-39: 51% / 41%
40-49: 47% / 52%
50-59: 27% / 71%
60+: 25% / 70%

https://t.co/IxZFmqmjaS

[Cold Hand Mike @MikeLondonW]

Sweaty face emoji.

[arseblognews @arseblognews]

New: Auba and Odegaard start, no Pepe: Man City v Arsenal team news https://t.co/Vypu325UQP #arsenal #afc

[Gray Williams @gray_books]

All this pingdemic talk reminds me of that scene in Chernobyl when they turned down their Geiger counters because they were clicking too much.

[Kiron Mair @Kir0n]

.@ClarionSupport this is right now in our building (Number 1 The Roundway) on the 6th floor and the residents keep being fobbed off or cut off on the phone. What are you going to do about it?

[tom owen @tomowencc]

Ok, it's the #TDF2021 rest day and you know what that means... It's time for Beyoncé as vehicles from the Tour caravane! 🧵👇

[Declan Rice @_DeclanRice]

Why always me🙃🤣

[Cold Hand Mike @MikeLondonW]

LOSS - UKRAINE, HUN? (Image: England lad in tears) WIN - CRIMEA STOPPERS (Image: England lad smashing a goal in) ... but I'm here for HOT GOALS SUMMER.

[Alex Hesz @alexhesz]

Right, #ENGUKR tabloid headlines for a bit of Friday pm fun? One for #eng win, one for #UKR Here goes. We lose: Crimea River. We win: The Reign of Kane falls mainly on Ukraine.

[Carl Anka @Ankaman616]

That is absolutely sensational television. My god. What a way to announce the expiration of Messi's contract

[Cycling on TNT Sports @cyclingontnt]

WOWWWW! 😲

An absolutely 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 win for Mark Cavendish at #TDF2021!

[Daniel Lloyd @daniellloyd1]

When sporting greats fade, you question whether the standards have increased, whether that athlete would have won in the modern era, even at their peak.

Mark Cavendish has now beaten three generations of the best sprinters, on the biggest stage. No more questions needed.

[Cold Hand Mike @MikeLondonW]

@90min_Football @ruthtewkkers

[Cold Hand Mike @MikeLondonW]

@danielstorey85 I see they've managed not to mention sexuality - at all - in their post about "the rainbow." I'm assuming their "rainbow" is a different one to the LGBT rainbow that everyone else on the planet is familiar with.

[🗣️ BUY FOUR STARS BY JOEL GOLBY @joelgolby]

🐐🐐🐐