Mike Petritis

Where rejected Facebook statuses come to die.

[McLaren Mastercard Formula 1 Team @McLarenF1]

LANDO NORRIS LEADS THE UNITED STATES GRAND PRIX!!!

#USGP 🇺🇸

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

Salt grinders are dumb.

Pepper grinders open pepper berries during grinding releasing new flavors

Salt grinders just turn big rocks into small rocks.

That is all. That is the post.

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@Delta our flight has been grounded due to a potential fuel leak for over an hour now and now our connection to Austin has been cancelled. We are stranded in Chicago. Please help.

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@QuickBooks @QBCares
I'm sorry but this promotion is borderline offensive. Process $225k+ in 3 months and get $600 cash back?! Are you insane? Fire whoever approved this campaign because whoever processes that much that fast doesn't care about a measly $600.

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@McLarenF1 I’ll take it

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@MickeyViews Also note that their plan they explicitly allow for a 5th gate in 2027

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

To whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you… You have my Word.

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@saradietschy That hurts

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@Delta This hand crafted belt made by an artisan down an alley we met in Palermo

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@Delta the food at the T5 ORD Skyclub is head and shoulders above any other lounge y’all run. Put those chefs in charge of the rest!!

[Tim @thetimtracker]

A million retweets and I’ll say a curse word before Twitter shuts down.

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@MythicalChef For steak go to Steiner Ranch Steakhouse (they smoke their steaks on property)

For spicy cold noodles go to the H-Mart food court off of lakeline. Fuck those are good

Korean BBQ? Go to Jjim bbq!

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@Delta can I speak to someone about an unruly flight attendant on a recent past flight?

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@MythicalChef desperately needs to interview @altonbrown on AHIAS…

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@smartereveryday Check with @empowerinvent

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@SDCAttractions @midwaymayhemfan I meant well paid and respected social media specialist who graduated from an accredited college and deserves a raise… 😬

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@SDCAttractions @midwaymayhemfan Well played social media intern… well played

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@MattyWTF1 It’s red.

[Mike Petritis @MikePetritis]

@saradietschy I found a chrome extension that automatically records what you do and makes SOPs for you called Scribe https://t.co/1zmE6uNC4b