Mike Stevenson

Father of two lovely girls! Jill Stein 2028! Nature lover! Dickinson Grad! 1997 Sig Nu pledge master!

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

Fliff blackjack is more rigged then the North Korea elections. #IranWar #Dior #BenjaminNetanyahu

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

First time being hung in awhile. I feel alive again I feel like I accomplish something

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

I have excepted defeat #needabeer

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

Don’t buy espresso martinis at the club I am now homeless

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

When I fight for my life on the toilet thinking I might shit out my internal organs all for a timbit size ball of shit makes me wanna cry #DDAY_SUGAisBACK

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

Beer

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

Imagine everyday life if ants were bigger those mfs can lift like 7x there body weight. Like oh look little Timmy is getting carried away by an ant colony to get sacrificed. Shit would be a real issue. Anyway back to my miserable life. Need a beer. #affluenza #rfk

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

I’m at the bar but I need to poop any tips #beerpoop

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

Thought I would take a nice weekend trip to Canada. Instead I come back with explosive diarrhea. This has to be a result of Trumps tariffs. Trump please remove these there is more blood than poop on my wipes. #Bitcoin #Canada

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

You know it’s a bad shit when u have to strip all your cloths off clench the seat with your life and all you can do is pray for it to end. #4elements #SB19 #beer #poop #signu

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

Not on speaking terms right now with the first born… but that doesn’t really matter college is overhyped anyway who would have ever guessed the warriors wouldn’t cover it was literally free money. #BBBB25 #BBMzansi

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

TIKTOK IS BACK!! I can finally sit on the toilet for hours at a time to avoid my family agin. LETS DRINK!!

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

Sometiems pooping is the highlight of my day.

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

As I reflect on my life taking my morning shit I wonder why the hell are Christmas cards so damn cringy. Like we don’t need a cringe ass love poem in every one so stupid. Anyway let’s gamble the day away. #nevergiveup #alwaysbuyback and remember always chase your losses.

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

I can’t stop shiting send help need beer:

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

There’s bugs in my head get them out!!!!!

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

Just took a shit and the water splashed from the toilet up my ass and out my mouth. Is it weird I enjoyed it? I think I am gonna try to it out agin another day! #beerinmymouth

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

How does RFK lose what a shame he was robbed. With that being said I will be endorsing Jill Stein in 2028. #greenparty

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

If your not drinking right now your the problem grow up #beer

[Mike Stevenson @MikeSteven88986]

People who don’t say thank you when you hold a door open or wave when you left them cross the street might be some of the worst people. Like it takes nothing to not be a jerk they deserve at lest 5-10 years of jail time. #timetogetdrunk