Mike The Mastodon

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

Going to start 2017 with some humor, so it can't fuck me over like 2016. @normmacdonald #Favorite

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

I bought one can of axe when I was 15, and my mom has been putting axe products in my stocking for 10 years.

#WeirdChristmasTraditions

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

#My4WordNewYearsResolution

Be wrong until right

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

#My4WordNewYearsResolution

Text less, talk more

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

#My4WordNewYearsResolution

Keep on keeping on

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

P.S. I Love You, but it's forbidden by the Council
#AddStarWarsImproveAMovie @midnight

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

My Left Fett #AddStarWarsImproveAMovie

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

@ViewFromAskew I disagree. My ex's voice is much worse.

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

I'm making a comeback, twitches. Feel my wrath

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

Don't worry, everyone. Supermex doesn't just play Christmas music. They like to throw in some 80's spirituals here or there

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

Full blown AIDS
#2016ElectionIn3Words

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

#Win4Vin

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

And me and the demon are throwing fucking hands #TheConjuring

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

I'm wrapping 2 rosaries around my fists #TheConjuring

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

If a god damn demon possessed my god damn house #TheConjuring

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

I'm just going to say this one thing about #TheConjuring

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

I'm watching #TheConjuring

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

@TBD km7lyyhh5 ad z

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

@RealJFairclough fa d ch f. Cf cr ft cff crtcc DVDfc DVDuh

[Mike The Mastodon @MikeTheMastodon]

Warren "Let's hit up a Buffet. I need food." @midnight #420Celebs