Mike Z

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

I saw a some boomboxes playing in the park. It was radio activity

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

I'm going to open a tire shop called Sat Tires

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

I think Joel Osteen is just up there reading a really long horoscope

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

Why does Trump have two Twitter accounts when he can not even handle one? @realDonaldTrump @POTUS

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

You know you are drunk when you start talking like Sean Spicer

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

I feel bad for the ginger black man. He has no soul

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

I think I was the only one who did not watch the game. But, congrats Cubbies! It's about fucking time #WorldSeries

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

About to roll all my political jokes into a massive burrito of funny and angry, and serve it to the @LaughingSkull #Elections2016

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

Ever seen camel toe so bad that it needed pussy boots? #pussinboots

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

Clown up or frown up, bitches

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

Predictable kills, well executed. #TWD

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

I touch myself to myself touching myself

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

I decided I'm going on a vegan diet. From here on out I'm only eating vegan girls.

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

I say we land a few helicopters on North Sentinel Island and bombard the tribe with marines, bibles, and sacks of bacon. Because 'Murica

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

The British tried to invade North Sentinel Island, but failed. Now it's America's turn.

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

One of the last uncontacted tribes on Earth is on North Sentinel Island off the coast of India. They kill anyone who tries to contact them

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

If you are that guy who pisses all over the toilet seat, I hope you get a flesh eating parasite inside your urethra #realtalk #fuckyou

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

You know you've got the #munchies when you start dipping corn chips into #chikfila sauce

[Mike Z @MikeZcomedy]

@DailyDoseDaily only acceptable if it's bumping Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone