Mike Coduto

The Veggie Wizard 🧅 He/Him

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

2100 tweets. That’s enough. Farewell tweeter. I remember when you could change the background.

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Every first snowfall I remember that Arizona really isn’t that far away and Bowie would look cute with sunglasses.

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Not to be dramatic but Shy Guy is the best character in Mario.

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

It should be legal to toaster bath one entitled person an hour.

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

The fire in my veins whenever someone texts me “lol” has reached new heights

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Happy Halloween 🎃

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

No lyric has meant more since MSI said “Imma kill a mutha fucka with a fax machine” in 2008.

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

If tax fraud is bad why do they make it so much fun?

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Update 10000: I called the groom fuckin Tyler again. I think I’m getting thrown out. But only if they can stop my swingin hips

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Hammered at a wedding where I don’t know anybody. Will keep you updated

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Update whatever the fuck; these fuckin glowy tubes are the SHIT

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Update 5: white folk still love cha cha slide and the song shots

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Update #4: fountain fountain fountain

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Update #3: I don’t know who these fuckers are but they are adorableeeeeeee
Dancin in the Moonlight

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Update 2: high jacked the Photo Booth

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Update #1: I called the groom Tyler. His name is Trent. Thanks for the free wine Thomas.

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

@tweets_kiwi I went on Monday and highly recommend

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

One time at the zoo I yelled help and a zookeeper ran over to see I had spilled my dip n dots.

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

What is democracy? @DaccatTV

https://t.co/MM9PLujj65

[Mike Coduto @Mike_CaDooToe]

Shit’s been less than stellar recently so here’s a time when shit was good.