Mike Massie

Antisocial Extrovert

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

Love my city, love my coffee. Big dreams and schemes coming. #coffee #minneapolis @ Corner Coffee North Loop https://t.co/uOI5nt06A3

[Brandon Stanton @humansofny]

“I love walking around the city. I catch the Metro North train at 11:40 every morning. I go to the same gym that I’ve been going to for forty years. Then I just start walking. If you take big strides it really stretches you out. And there are millions of other people..."

[Oscar the Grouch @OscarTheGrouch]

nope.

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

You just gained the ability to drink this year. Sit down.

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

Its gray duck, you godless heathen

[Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan]

So fun working on animated kids movie #DuckDuckGoose. Now streaming on @netflix. Great cast which includes @zendaya #lancelim @reggiewatts #gregproops craigyferg @stephenfry… https://t.co/QCAZLRH069

[Tyler Stafford @tylercstafford]

"Why is Mike Trout not as big as LeBron" asks the league that makes it illegal to stream your favorite team if you are within 12 hours of them.

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

I can see Coach Evans’ reaction perfectly. https://t.co/2nneAOc0sz

[Thermostat @Kthurmz]

In HS health class we had to give presentations on the dangers of drugs and a stoner in the class just stood up and played us a YouTube video called “big ass bong”

I think about that guy a lot.

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

Hey, it’s not my fault that some jackass decided to stuff a bomb in his shoe https://t.co/oViu6ua4Iq

[Brenna Chell @brennachell]

Cringing at every flip flop wearing traveler at the airport 🙅🏻‍♀️

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

@ChrisLivesMas “I poop, therefore I am”

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

wow i just saw two strangers share a nice moment and instead of live-tweeting their identifying information without their knowledge or consent for an unethical self-surveilling society so starved for content that we reward the robbery of privacy, i just… you know… did not

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

Nephew. https://t.co/8uVnIkSUaM

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Her: It would really mean a lot to my mother if you came

Me *pulling out*: I know she wants grandkids but we're not ready

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

Mandatory day off purchase #donuts #minneapolis @ Bogart's Doughnut Co. https://t.co/P0vt1HlLpY

[Parker Jones @_parkerejones_]

greatest soda:

18. you
17. can’t
16. possibly
15. rank
14. these
13. carbonated
12. beverages
11. because
10. they
9. all
8. taste
7. so
6. unique
5. and
4. have
3. different
2. flavors
1. Dr. Pepper

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

PB on both slices of bread with jelly on the PB. Prevents oozing and leaking of jelly. https://t.co/Br7XQtOik3

[Lexie Ebensberger @CoachLexieAF]

What is the proper way to make a PB & J?
RT for: bread then peanut butter, jelly on top on peanut butter then bread

Like for: bread then peanut butter, jelly on other piece of bread and place together

Trynna settle a discussion

[Mike Scollins @mikescollins]

When you're almost done picking teams in gym class.

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

@ChrisLivesMas Because I feel like being a jerk tonight.

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

@subject_xavier https://t.co/EENLjfOgLg

[Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr]

In Houston in 2006, I tried to prank call J. Prince, CEO of Rap-A-Lot Records. We had a conversation that made me not only leave the studio but also the city of Houston. A thread....

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

In conclusion, I am physically incapable of normal social interactions.

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

As far I’m concerned, there’s only two ways to leave a party: the Minnesota goodbye and the Irish goodbye.

[Mike Massie @Mike_Mass17]

Being born and raised in MN in addition to being something like 45% Irish by ancestry, I have mastered both.