Mike Oxlong

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

Could one say that a “submission wizard” is just another way of describing a power bottom

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

If you think about it disposable vapes are looking more and more like spaceships

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

If you aren’t swervin’ … you aren’t servin

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

Sometimes when I’m in a store and I see a manikin I get the intrusive thought to just push it off it’s pedistool

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

My pussy has lost its powers 🥲

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

The thrill I just got trying to find out every piece of information about my boss.
Feeling: psychotic

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

the conspiracy theories that say we live in a sim are starting to look pretty real to me

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

Call me Chernobyl cause I’m having a meltdown

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

If I ever hear a millennial say neuro-spicy again. I’m going to end it

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

What the opposite of a slut??? A Christian ?????

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

Why don’t animals get funerals? Humans are animals, we put people 6 feet under and it’s a whole thing. So why don’t we do that with animals?
They’re just chillin on this planet too so they deserve them.

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

Working with children is like living with a golden retriever. They’re cute but sometimes they’ll shit on the floor and not listen

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

Living with a cat has made me understand why shaken baby syndrome is a thing

[Mike Oxlong @MikeeeOxlongg]

Pre-nap thoughts:
I know animals have there own ways of talking and shit but I wonder if they have there own set of cuss words.
Like we just can say like fuck you ass hole bitch damn
But can animals say that too, but in there own sounds?