Cousin Mike

Sarcasticist...Hilaritist...HUMAN!!! Humanist... stay for the whole show! oh yeah by the way a writer of all genres...

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

If your girlfriend/wife lays her head on your chest and asks you questions. She is using you as a lie detector. (Checking your heart beat)

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

I'm Mike Walleye All-star MVP of procrastination. Uhhh need I remind you it starts with Pro everyone. Has anyone seen my keys?

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

I judge a person on how many times they watch SportsCenter in one day.

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

They're making a prequel To Weekend At Bernie's it's called Weekend With The Lomax's were Bernie was raised by dead parents. #TooMorbid

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

No response.

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

Ohh shit. I left that on. Text me I'll shut it off.

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

My Television Show. My family eating and drinking. But mostly the conversation.

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

#Question eat crab now or corn chowder bisque. Uhhhh later.#Developed recipe.

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

I'm an All-star. #Really I am a Pretender I can act like whatever. Look at that I just solved the #Dime change idea. #help #find #life #time

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

I can't wait until someone says to me, what do you do make motion pictures or make small television series. I'll say what do you want. I can

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

I had a goldfish named milkshake until my roommate made a milkshake out of milkshake. #NotReally #ADumbJoke

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

IIIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMM AAAAAA PPPPIIIILLLLOOOTTTTTT! @imofo13 @MySquareBalls I love my passengers. #Followers

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

Seal! Oooohhhhh!

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

My resources are being misused. I'll say underpaid. But what is that in the water! GET! OUT!

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

Sorry my spoken word.

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

@MikeFrankovich the funny part is I can't drink caffeine because I am actually a hyper/hypo and you can ask @imofo13 @MySquareBalls just rif

[Mike Frankovich @MikeFrankovich]

@Mikef412 Mexican Coke has real sugar. Kinda sad you have to get the "Real Thing" imported from south of the border.

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

@MikeFrankovich I just peed my pants. #hilarity

[Cousin Mike @Mikef412]

I was raised on Cybil Shepard and South Park. I used to watch China Beach with my mom and Tour Of Duty with my dad #RedDoor #PaintItAnything