Michael Johnson

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@SaraUnderwood you are flipin gorgeous. I'm flying to Oregon right meow.

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

I'm down.

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

Happens every time

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

During the Civil War, prostitutes were called "horizontal refreshments."

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@AJStueven Lil johnny likes! I do wanna drown in it haha

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@jsalentine24 and you're drunk lol

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@jsalentine24 ahhh yea I don't think so Pal!

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@HotChicksAIlDay is that Jessica Ashley on your background? 😍

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

When you bust and she keeps on going https://t.co/sAyzJn8Joc

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

"@UberFacts: The average vagina is 3 to 4 inches long but can expand by 200 percent when aroused." It better.

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@MissJessicaAsh Should visit the Midwest sometime soon.

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@SSG_STEPANIAK I'm doing it! Haha

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@BrennanClay24 hoes gonna be hoes. Only positive, is you have your kids. #hope

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

She's a hoe if she puts her phone down like this

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@jsalentine24 gayyy!

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

@jsalentine24 @AJStueven huhh?

[Michael Johnson @MikeyMike247365]

"@UberFacts: Taller men tend to have more sex than shorter men."

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

All the wrong girls want you, but the one you want is impossible to get.

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

You text me, I respond in 15 seconds later and apparently you die of excitement cause 2 hours later Im still waiting for a response