Lord Covington

Made his first appearance on earth in '98 and was recieved immediately by critics worldwide as a smash hit. Blues Rugby. Manhattan College '20.

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Playa Bowls: For the person who LOVES smoothies, but HATES... the convenience of cups?

[Bucknell Wrestling @Bucknell_WRST]

In his first career bout at 149 pounds, JOEY GOULD GETS THE PIN! 💪 #DoMore #rayBucknell

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

@Luke_Karam 😪

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

The key to a good funeral is to leave them wanting more

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Worried about getting lung cancer from hitting the juul? Here are fun/safe alternatives
1) Just mainline the juice from the pods by injecting it directly into your jugular vein
2) eat a bowl of pods like you would eat cereal

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

I wish cars had the same rules that ships do. A tried and true driver will go down with his Kia Sorento.

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Going to church=Gang Shit

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

A commercial came on the television so I picked up my iphone and immediately opened twitter. I love being a thoughtless, attention despoiled, 21st century zombidiot.

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Dempsey: Jack I like your pajamas
Jack-Jack: thanks, they're great for stretching.
Me: stretching... in your pajamas?
Jack-Jack: yeah, that was I was doing on the stairs bro. Stretching out my loins

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

North America has the best birds. Miss me with those extra ass tropical birds with their arrogant imitations of people and loud vibrant colors. Thinking they're hot as shit... cardinals and robins aren't fake like that.

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

I LOVE going to Christmas mass because who knows what'll happen, what if Jesus doesn't get born at the end of the story this year, like, WHAT!?

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Little Bear is the greatest, most wholesome, children's cartoon ever produced

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Must is the greatest prefix ever. It could lead to anything from stang to stache

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Fish are wet meaty robots

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

And the lord said unto yeast "Rise my son and you shall be healed"

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Dentists give you tough bristled toothbrushes in those goodie bags to destroy your enamel so you have to come back sooner. Stay Woke!

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

@Torso5979 Naturally!

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Me: Did dad just add me on snap?
Jack-Jack: Nope that's me
Me: But I thought I already added you on snap
Jack-Jack: You did, but you can delete Jackpreiss70 because Jackpreiss83 is IN TOWN

[Lord Covington @MilesPreiss]

Life hack: soak yourself in hot salt water while you're studying so you'll never have to pee during a final