rich 🫪

[rich 🫪 @MilfGodRich]

Me every time this song comes on

[. @madnssxo]

me listening to die for you

[Bulk Vanderhuge @flatearthjape]

The AT&T guy gripped my cart and said “prove it” when I told him I had AT&T

[CHA$E @jehovahsflyest]

pawning your gun instead of robbing someone is crazy

[Melanie Bracewell @meladoodle]

I’m in the wedding planning subreddit and this seems like a bit of an overreaction

[Zy @ZyMazza]

Don't worry about it. The Chinese also invented gunpowder, and then literally didn't invent guns because they were using it for fireworks. They love fireworks. They will always use technology for fireworks. They can't help themselves.

[clay ⛷️ @hanfjob]

My son asked me “gay son or thot daughter” and when I responded “thot daughter” he looked disappointed and said “never mind”?

[la bilancia ♎️ @Dekaytra]

I wish I was outside that day smh

[¿ @umlarp]

courage the reasonably scared dog

[𝓓𝓾𝓴𝓮 🧃 @fwsodiq]

"If i were you" might be the most pointless hypothetical. If you were me you would do exactly what i did cuz you'd be me

[duck @ExtremeBlitz__]

is it normal to have inside jokes with yourself that you laugh at subconsciously or is that schizophrenia

[COOLEE BRAVO @ItalianFiesta]

Dis remind me of when dem dykes in da club threw a bottle in my section and I knocked all 4 of they ass out cuz I thought they was short men and everybody was screamin “COOLEE NO”. But in my defense I didn’t know they was girls until I knocked they hats off

[AC 🇯🇵 @AC2802M]

Thank God it’s not snowing imagine shovelling snow in this heat

[WyattzWorld @WyattzWorId]

Hall of fame tweet

[Charles J. Moore @charles270]

Hot honey lemon pepper Hennessy wings

[Adika @Adikastakes]

At this point English speaking twitter is a waste of time 😭😭😭