MimiO

I like when the good guys win in sports and politics. A New England Patriots fan who knows that #12, Tom Brady, is the greatest of all time.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

You hit that nail on the head.

[Miles Commodore @miles_commodore]

I look at Chuck Schumer and think he would be the guy who would get on the boat with women and children while the Titanic was sinking?

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Love that you persist in putting their feet to the fire!

[Justine Bateman @JustineBateman]

By doing what @RepBrandonGill? I’m genuinely interested, because I understand you have a great growth of this in Texas. What exactly are you and your co-workers doing about this?

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Dandelion Salad.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Uncovered fruit in the fridge will get mungy quick.

[Jessie @ojessie__]

What's your first thought when you see this refrigerator?

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Called my Italian Nana for a visit to introduce my red-head Irish fiancé. She was very gracious and upon leaving, shook his hand gently, and said one sentence in Italian.
He thought she was blessing us.
What she said was “For God’s sake, get some black shoe polish for his hair.”

[Primzy @lovyPrimzy1]

When I was 18, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my grandmother.

I had spent the entire day preparing her.

“Please be nice to him,” I told her.
“He’s really sweet.”

Deep down, I was hoping she would look at us and say what every young girl wants to hear:

“Wow, you two are perfect together.”

He was polite.
He greeted her properly.
He helped clear the table after dinner.

I was smiling the whole time.

The moment he left, I ran to my grandma.

“So… what do you think about him?”

She took a sip of her tea, looked me dead in the eyes and said:

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

In Boston, all forms of sweet carbonated drinks (Coke, Pepsi, etc.) are collectively called “Tonic”.

And yes, it is a Bubblah.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I ordered a Coke in Georgia and the waitress said, "What kind?"

I said Coke.

She said, "Right, what kind."

I said Coke again, more slowly, thinking I had failed to pronounce it.

She said, "Dr Pepper, Sprite, root beer?"

Coke is the category. Coke is the word for all of them. In Georgia, Sprite is a kind of Coke.

Inside I said: THEY HAVE NAMED THE ENTIRE KINGDOM AFTER ITS LARGEST PROVINCE AND EVERYONE HAS SIMPLY AGREED.

I drove north.

In Ohio it is pop.

In New York it is soda.

In parts of the Midwest a man ordered "a pop" and in the next state a man corrected me for saying it.

There is a line. There is an actual line, running through this country, and on one side of it a word is normal and on the other side it identifies you.

I asked a man in Michigan what people in other states call it.

He said, "They call it soda, but they're wrong."

They are not wrong. There is no correct answer. He knows there is no correct answer.

He said it anyway.

Inside I said: HE IS DEFENDING A BORDER THAT DOES NOT EXIST AGAINST AN ENEMY WHO IS DOING THE SAME THING TWO HUNDRED MILES AWAY.

Then it got worse.

The sandwich.

In Philadelphia it is a hoagie. In New York it is a hero. In New England it is a grinder. In parts of Louisiana it is a po' boy, though I am told that one is different, and I was told this very firmly.

It is the same sandwich. Bread, meat, lettuce.

Four names. Four regions. Four groups of people who will die on this.

Inside I said: THEY AGREE ON THE SANDWICH. THEY HAVE NEVER AGREED ON THE SANDWICH.

I asked a woman in Boston about the water fountain.

She said, "Bubbler."

Bubbler. She was not joking. She looked at me with concern when I laughed.

I have made a list. I know it is incomplete. I know I have made errors.

Correct me.

Please correct me. I need to know what you call it and I need to know why the other states are wrong.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Good. You haven’t been the pimple of stand up comedy. Glad you were “squeezed”.

[Tim Pool @Timcast]

Liberals have it tough

I can't imagine living this way.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Please do more! Stop vacationing here and stop using our healthcare. Canadians must all have Alzheimer’s. YOU started the tariff war with a 250% tariff on US dairy, etc.

[Jen (ESC) 🇨🇦❤️🦋 @Smil3yAngel]

When the US threatened Canada with annexation and imposed illegal tariffs on us, Canadians stood together.

We have removed American alcohol from our shelves, stopped buying anything American, and stopped travelling there.

We are Proud Nasty Canadians 🇨🇦❤️

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Huh. And you haven’t been missed. Go figure.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Snowduster

[Jessie @ojessie__]

What would you name this cat?

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

I am old but in good health. I do not use self check out because do not want to see the seniors and teenagers who work as baggers and cashiers lose their much needed jobs.

[sarah 🌙 @theresnoyou]

unless you’re old af or have mobility issues self checkout is like the easiest thing ever. i’ll never understand why people act like it’s some major inconvenience to use 😭

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Great! Stay in your country and stop using mine for healthcare and vacations.

[MaggieMay 🇨🇦🇪🇺🇮🇪 @CailinasEirinn]

Nope. Not. A. Chance.
Shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

You entitled jackass; nothing, zilch, nada. As a tenant, you never had to pay taxes, pay for repairs, or pay for improvements. You are also contributing to your stereotype. Yes, I said it.

[JoseGuadalupe @SrGuadalupano]

Soy inquilino hace 15 años. El dueño acaba de vender la casa sin avisarme y me la está pidiendo. ¿Que porcentaje de la venta me toca?

[John McAfee 🇺🇸 News @mcafeenew]

🚨JAMES WOODS JUST OBLITERATED AMY SCHUMER AFTER SHE CALLED HIM “IRRELEVANT AND IGNORANT” AT A CHARITY EVENT!

🔗 https://t.co/oy6j9Tbtd3

“I have three Oscars, five Emmys, two Tonys, and a Teen Choice Award for good measure. You have an empty resume and a floundering career. Maybe sit this one out.”

The has-been “comedian” who hasn’t worked since getting fired from Saturday Night Live six years ago decided to pick a fight with the wrong man. Amy Schumer attacked James Woods, calling him “irrelevant and ignorant.”

Woods — a Rhodes Scholar with two Ph.Ds — didn’t even flinch. He simply listed his actual accomplishments and told her to sit this one out.

Once again, another washed-up Hollywood wokester completely underestimated James Woods. She brought a butter knife to a gunfight and got publicly dismantled.

Share this everywhere so every out-of-work liberal “comedian” still looking for clout sees what happens when you talk down to a legend!

Follow @mcafeenew for more drops.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

I’ve lived in MA and FLA. Every grocery store I’ve been in for both states provide a huge trash barrel next to the ears of corn to do just that. Makes sense.

[Clown World ™ 🤡 @ClownWorld]

I’ve honestly never seen anything like this. Instead of buying the corn and cleaning it at home, shoppers are peeling every ear right there in the grocery store while the floor slowly turns into a cornfield.

Have you ever seen this at your local supermarket?

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

What are you, 20? At 5-6 hours a day, you’d be part time, earning minimum wage and no benefits. Then you’d really be whining!
Life is tough. Buck up, Buttercup.

[Amelia @amelia_tweetz]

I genuinely believe a 4 day workweek with 5 to 6 hour days would change society for the better. People would be less stressed, spend more time with family and friends, and actually have the energy to enjoy life instead of just recovering from work. We'd probably end up healthier and happier because of it.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

And the problem is……? Why should tax paying Americans foot the bill for non citizens? Not our job.

[Rose Smith @itsrosesm]

🚨BREAKING: Republicans are allegedly pushing multiple bills to BAN noncitizens from receiving welfare benefits: SNAP, Section 8, Medicaid, etc

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

My dad.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Who the F**K throws TP in a trash can? Women use them to toss feminine products after wrapping them in TP as those items are not flushable. Have you been living under a rock?

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

Toilet paper goes in the toilet, and I’m not debating it with anyone. Having a trash can in the bathroom is unhygienic.

[MimiO @MimiOsborne1950]

Bobby Orr

[Elma @oelma__]

Can you name ONE famous Canadian?