Miranda 🦘

just built different

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

Interrupting your daily scroll for 11 seconds of Banjo

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I’m such an affectionate person if you can strike the right nerve

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

*taps mic*

I’m in a sad bitch mood tonight

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

Bartending is WILD bc how do I explain to people that my homie is an old farmer named Clint that loves electric lemonades and cats

[BOOP @Pettyyyboop]

Imagine hating me and I’m over here picking up objects with my toes.

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

You could not have waterboarded that information out of me 10 years ago

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I miss when twitter was twitter

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I sound like a boomer

“Back in my day I ran a fall out boy fan account with 5k followers”

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I said it

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I love reading the responses and finding out I’m just entirely undateable

[nazzo @nazzobetweeting]

what’s an ~unpopular~ dating dealbreaker for you? i have a controversial one: we can’t be in a relationship if you have a dog. sorry

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

Is it morally wrong to send a “you up” text rn??

Bc I def just sent a “you up” text rn

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

Okee bitches who got blue sky

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I haven’t blacked out from anger since I was 17.
But idk today might be the day lmao

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

If one more thing happens today I’m having a full crash out

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I like my soootcase

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

An actual sentence I said today:

Yeah I got a few hours before the frogs arrive, then I can party

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

@PopDaKira CONGRATS 🥳🥳🥳

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I’m not the personality hire, but I am the one that orders starbies delivered for all my coworkers to make the day a lil better

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

I am no longer making “to do” lists, only “side quests” lists

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

@EAS_AF Yeah with lots of caffeine

[Miranda 🦘 @MindOfMiranda]

drunk about to deep clean my apartment ama