i’ve tried being gentle about it i’ve tried being violent about it i’ve tried being patient i’ve tried being angry i’ve tried writing about it talking about it staying quiet about it but i was never able to understand it
Work. Work. Work. Stay hydrated. Go to the dentist. 10,000 steps. “What’s for dinner?” Insurance. Drink water. Pay a bill. Pay a bill. Smile. Credit Score. Check engine light. Go get gas. ALLERGIES! TAXES! STUDENT LOANS! Phone storage full. Email. Email. Apple $12.99. Apple $9.99. Subscriptions. Subscription. Overdraft. Laundry. Fold. Text. Text. Text. Clean the house. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” Doctors appoinment. Hair appoinment. Nail appointment. RENT. WAR! GOVERNMENT! POLITICS! THE PRESIDENT!!
self-isolation has always been my coping mechanism. I often get the urge to disappear from everyone without a trace. It's not that i don't enjoy the company of others‚ but there are moments when the weight of the world becomes to heavy‚ and all i want is to be on my own.
ngl a while ago i just stopped talking to people and its been disastrous for my mental health but im entirely incapable of talking to people again its like ive entirely forgotten how and i have to deal with all peak anxiety for people ive known for ages so i just dont anymore
so does anyone else occassionally get a random 2 seconds of perfect clarity where you fully realise and feel just how far downhill your life has gone and the fact that it's 2026 and not 2021 but then your brain immediately shuts down and corrects itself back to normal