Husband is sleeping next to me. Has been for over an hour.
I look at him and think "he's so cute... he is the most handsome cutest th-" and he OPENS HIS EYES. We startled each other.
I said "sorry! I just looked at you"
He mumbled "I heard your brain" and rolled over. Still asleep.
The sealing ordinance comes with telepathy. That poor man has to listen to me yap when he's awake AND asleep.
my boyfriend and i have been looking for an apartment together, and yesterday he sent me a place he really liked. we were discussing the rent when i asked whose name would go on the lease. he said his, because his salary was higher and he didn't want any complications if we ever broke up. i told him that made sense until he added, “you can just send your half to me every month.” i asked him what would happen if we actually broke up, and he said…