Miss Helen Says

a little nugget that keeps you on your toes

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

As we're leaving @mcsports "I'll carry your urine for ya dad." (In reference to #hunting supplies.) #shitkidssay #kidssaythedarnedestthings

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

#misshelensays #kidssaythedarnestthing #laundry reminder

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

@MissHelenSays "When Bub is done in da Marines, he wants to be a conversation officer? He wants to talk all day? That's called a teacher."

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

@MissHelenSays "If Papaw has his gauze-bladder taken out, what's gonna hold his pee?" #kidssaythedarnedestthings #funnykid #shitmykidsays

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

"Mom, bub's butt waves at us! When he runs (out to the baseball field) his batting gloves wave to us from his back pocket."

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

After asking a question and not receiving much of an answer, Miss Helen says, "I'll @google around awhile."

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

@KelloggCompany "I wanna escalator in my house like the #eggowaffle commercial. Oh. Wait. We don't have a second floor."

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

@Snoopy nite nite! No #redbaron nitemare.

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

@DisneyPictures "hey mom @waterscolor here's your #MadMen man. He needs to shave."

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

(Noticing mom's new career requires dressing up): "It's almost like you've grown up, Mommy." #kidssayoftheday #kidssaythedarnedestthings

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

#misshelensays:"#ohmygosh does that lady know she smells like tuna spilled all over her?"

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

"I could eat my weight in cheese, but that'd be some serious constipation." #misshelensays #kidssaythedarnedestthings

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

"I really know I'm sick when my snot is the color of Dad's fake fishin' worms." #misshelensays #kids

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

why do singers' accents disappear when they sing? #funnythingskidssay #funnykids

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

(after Mom says to Helen that she needs to clean under her toenails)... "but that dirt makes my toenails look tanned!"

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

it's fun to pee outside!

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

(screaming from the bath tub) Maaaaaahm! Bring me a hunk of cheddar cheese!

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

I can't believe the library can't even spell Public right. It had a "V" in it. (PVBLIC)

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

Momma, I don't know what's wrong, but it can't be as hard as MLK. He worked on not having white water fountains and black water fountains.

[Miss Helen Says @MissHelenSays]

"Mom, who did you want to be when you were little?" (Mom answers Olivia Newton John) "I don't even know her. She must be dead by now."