Laura Moses

writer / author / illustrator / napper

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Bryson Dechambeau is fun to say like 🎶 Jason Derulo 🎶 and that’s what I know about golf. ⛳️

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

A haunted house but it’s just someone quizzing you on what your closest friends do for a living and they’re all standing there waiting for you to answer.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Shout out to Disney + and Hulu for raising their subscription prices during a strike.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

COCAINE SHARK
https://t.co/oRhvQnbHnV via @HuffPostCrime

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

I watch a show like #outlast on #Netflix to see survivalism at it’s best, not absolute garbage nonsense. I hope Jill and amber go home to Kentucky or wherever and think about how they’re the worst forever.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Watching #netflix #Outlast expecting survivalist excellence. Instead seeing how jill and amber are simply garbage in Alaska. #pollution

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Amber and Jill on #netflix #outlast should be ashamed. What a disgusting display of behavior.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Sometimes when I’m yawning my phone doesn’t unlock for my face and that seems mean.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

@GregAbbott_TX around the books that you don't like?

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

@w_terrence Ooh!! He tried to overturn a fair election!

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Things I yelled at other cars while trying to find parking in the Trader Joe's parking lot: Absolutely not! Excuse you! How dare you? Cute hat! You're the worst!

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Why is my TikTok full of slapping competitions, that doesn't help me. Pls bring back useful content (cats knocking over babies & bottle service waitress makeup tutorials.)

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

When my cat stops mid-bath to stare into space but leaves that stupid little leg sticking straight up into the air? In that moment, the world is perfect.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

@davidkwong how dare you?

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Any room can be an escape room if you’re an introvert.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

If you love cozy pillows and fluffy blankets but wished each fabric surface in your home had like one string pulled out of it, may I introduce you to CATS

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

@janiehaddad I am. All those puzzles are real.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Always wonder what my indoor cats think when cars and trucks honk and zoom by outside. Do they think it’s big monsters and I keep them safe and when I leave I’m fighting the monsters? I hope so.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

Women who marry rich to help out their families shouldn't be thought less of, Beauty and the Beast is required viewing for children.

[Laura Moses @MissLauraMoses]

So glad I retained my #GOT knowledge so I can explain to my husband that the handsome jouster in House of the Dragon is related to Beric Dondarrion and feel good about myself until he calls everyone on the show "Janerys."